Breakdown
by ClancyBB
Summary: Better summary inside. But this is an intense especially on Bella's part story, PLEASE READ, edward: a bit OCC, player, dominant, jealous, sexy as HELL! Rated M for rape, language, and later on Lemons. ALL HUMAN.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Bella lives with her mom and has been going out with the same guy for all of high school. What happens when her life takes a turn for the worst and she can longer stand her small town or her boyfriend. A move in with Charlie and his new family and neighbors provoke a love hate relationship in paradise. PLEASE READ. Edward: a bit OCC, player, dominant, jealous, sexy as HELL.... All rolled into my story!**

**Okay, so this is my 'first' fanfic [let's just not count my real first because I had no idea what I was doing, and no real plot in mind, and I got hardly any reviews or PMs so I had little encouragement or reason to keep going, but thank you to all of you who DID review, PM, or add as a fav or alert!] Let's hope my 'first' time is better than my first time. **

**Anyways I know most of you who read my first one were mad about me NEVER updating but I swear I will update this one! I already have the first 4 chapters complete... You just have to do one **_**little **_**thing for me... Meet my "chapterly" quota hahaha, each chapter I'll post a number of reviews I want to be at before I update again :) [PMs count] and I'll try to respond to every review, and PM. I'm ALL for constructive criticism;)! PLEASE I BEG OF YOU REVIEW!**

**I own nothing**

**And without further ado I give you chapter uno of my 'first' ever fanfic!**

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Chapter 1:

**Hey, can you come over? I have a surprise for you.**

**-James**

**Umm... Hehe I could sneak out?!**

**-Bells**

**Best idea you've had all night sweetie;]**

**-James**

**On my way!**

**-Bells**

Bella sighed as she sat down her phone; she had no reason to bring it with her. She took a moment to stare at the last text from her long time boyfriend James-'a surprise'-finally!

She was a tornado as she tore through her room, finding the hottest outfit she could create out of her drabby wardrobe as quickly as humanly possible, almost INhumanly. She finally settled on a simple deep red low cut shirt (that she would never have _dreamt _of wearing without an undershirt before this night), tight black skinny jeans (that she hadn't even _tried _to fit into since freshmen year, two years ago), and dark tan fry boots that Renée had bought her years ago and she had yet to wear.

She shook her hair out of the loose bun she had made of her loose curls for the night. She knew James loved her hair like this, and it was simple and easy to do, leaving very little for Bella to screw up. She then took the slowest steps she'd stepped since getting out of bed...towards the rarely used....sparsely occupied.... _makeup draw_er in her bathroom.

_God, what am I doing? I don't know how to do _this! _...what even _is _this?_

She finally shut the offensive drawer after applying some simple clear gloss, a little blush, and _very very _carefully, some mascara, without, surprisingly, ruining everything and having to completely start over.

_Just remember the goal!_

She planned to simply glance in the mirror before she snuck out the window. But upon seeing her reflection she froze.

_Gulp. God this is worse than I thought!_

One could see her black lace bra peeking out of her shirt, drawing even _more _attention to her cleavage. If she even bent down the slightest bit one could see the black lace matching thong leaving a trail down to her ass. The red shirt was so tight that she could see her subtly defined stomach muscles.

Still, she found comfort in her face; it wasn't much different from how she always went to school. Her features just seemed to 'pop' a bit more. And her hair added some softness to the dramatic look.

She stood frozen for an immeasurable amount before she squeezed her eyes shut and escaped her reflection by fleeing out the window and into her back yard.

_He'll never give me what I want without me looking like this! Remember your goal Bella!_

She ran through her yard and clumsily hopped over her back fence into the alley behind her house, thankful she had not worn heels. Though after a few minutes of walking down the chilly street she did begin to wish she had thought to bring a jacket. And when a few figures lurking in the shadows began to come into view she thought of a whole new reason for the missing jacket, coverage.

She folded her arms across her chest to try to maintain _some _sense of dignity, while she continued to walk towards the increasingly daunting figures.

_They aren't even looking. Calm down. James' house is less than ten minutes away. Just ten more minutes...._

She continued walking past the men, and when nothing happen relief flooded her system. That was until a low whistle echoed through the dark alleyway.

Bella hesitated for brief second before fight-or-flight took over her brain. Naturally, she chose flight, all three of the men were at least twice her weight and close to a foot taller than her. Yet, when she took her first rapid step into flight mode her foot did not met with pavement, but instead a discarded beer can, sending the small girl hurling towards the ground.

Before Bella even had a chance to right herself, or pray fir a miracle, the men where surrounding her. Bella stared up at them with wide eyes as the talked above her.

"Ahh look at that Joe, the little baby ripped her jeans," a burly man with a thick dark beard said as he knelt down and stuck his finger into the hole just above her left knee. Bella was too scared to tell the man to stop, or to move, she just lay on the ground, tears spilling over onto her cheeks and streaming down her face, "think you could fix that?"

"Well of course, anything for the pretty lady... but she'd have to take those tight little pants off, so, you know, I could, umm, 'examine' them," Joe said as he too knelt down next to the sobbing girl, they all three burst into laughter.

"You think you could do that for us hun? Let us, haha, 'help you out'?" the man with his finger in the hole in Bella's jeans said as he removed his finger and began to trail it up her leg.

"S-stop! I have someone w-waiting for me! He'll call t-the cops on y-you!" Bella screamed out between sobs, attempting to sound as brave as possible, though the majority of it came out as a whimper.

The man that had yet to talk, the only one still standing, pulled her to her feet by her hair causing her to help out in pain, both that in her knee and scalp.

"Well listen to that boys, _he'll _call the cops on us," this man was by far the largest of them, the obvious leader, "Who's he _little _girl? Your _boyfriend_?" the man half spat half growled into the girls ear, barely loud enough for the other two men to hear him as they both rose to their feet.

"S-so what if-f he is? You'll still g-go to j-jail!" Her sobs wracked through her body now, because of pain, the embarrassment, but mostly because of the deathly fear.

"Now that's where your wrong _little girl," _the leader sneered at her, "You see, he's probably waiting for you, might call you a few times in an hour or so to see if your coming or not, but there won't be an answer, now will there _little girl_? He'll think you _pussyed _out, and went to bed, then guess what he'll do.... GUESS BITCH!"

"H-he'll call t-t-the cops t-to come l-look f-for me," Bella managed, she knew she sounded pathetic but her sobs were getting worse due to her dwindling hope.

"Of course not you stupid slut!" the leader spat, "he'll go to sleep pissed at you for showing him up... and guess what _you'll _be doing..." they all laughed menacingly at her as she began choking on her tears, "fucking us you little cocktease."

"P-please! G-god.... NO! No no n-no no no n-no.... Please, I-I have n-never.... Oh g-god, no, stop!" she pleaded as they began to laugh as she began writhing between them all.

"Hear that boys! We snagged ourselves a virgin!"

They all laughed as the leader held her back and Joe began to unbutton her pants, and the other grabbed a picket knife and began to cut her v-neck even lower, completely exposing her lacy black bra.

"Somebody shut this god damn bitch up!"

Suddenly Bella felt her panties being ripped away from her body, and she let out a blood curdling scream before she was quickly silenced by her panties being stuffed into her mouth.

She was about to spit then out when the leader placed a hand over her mouth, "Spit that out and we _won't _hold back, be a good _little girl _and we might just leave you with your virginity."

And with that everything stopped, all the cutting of fabric, the removal of clothing, the groping, and the open mouthed sloppy kisses over her exposed flesh, everything, stopped.

Bella looked around at each of her attackers and saw two mouths hanging open in shock, four eyes willing her to spit out the offending fabric, one smug smirk, and two daring squinty little eyes.

_Oh god, Oh god....but James.... Everything.... I'm so sorry Renée; I just can't fight this any more, they're going to win._

Bella kept her mouth closed and looked down at the pavement.

"Good _little girl."_

Then Bella heard a few hushed "fuck" and "damn it."

"Now one your knees _little girl_," if it was possible Bella's eyes got even wider, "_now_," yet with that final growl she was down on her knees.

* * *

**How'd you like it? What'd you think? I feel like a poor little puppy begging for attention! (sorry) I was going for intense, but I don't know how well I did with that. **

**YES Edward and the rest of the Cullen gang (but one) are in this story! SWEAR!...but.... It may take a while for them to actually, yeah know, be within 5,000 miles of each other.**

**So now for your very first CLANCYBB CHAPTERLY QUOTA:**

**15!**

**Not too bad right?**

**Next chapter...EDWARDS LIFE!**

**Much love,**

**KPB**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so time for some Edward fun. Next chapter will be Bella again. This chapter isn't as intense.**

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! **

Chapter 2:

_God my head hurts! Where the hell is that fucking alarm?!_

Edward thought as he rummaged around for his alarm, refusing to open his eyes, leading to him inadvertently grazing a few pairs of breast. Edward, frustrated, finally opened his eyes and quickly found his alarm clock and hurled it across the room into an unexpecting wall, making enough noise to cause the two girls on his sides to stir.

"Honey? What's wrong?" The red head on his left purred into his ear while running her nails down his chest.

Edward turned to look at Victoria then over to Lauren who had begun to place sloppy kiss on any available skin. Edward sat himself up grunting, sending the two girls flopping back down onto the mattress awkwardly.

"Uhh, you guys should leave, I've got to.... do something," Edward slurred out through the haze of his hangover, not giving a shit about angering either of the two whores in his bed.

_What the hell happened last night?_

_...._

_Oh. Yeah...._

_...shit...._

"But Eddie!" Lauren whined out, as Edward began to nudge her out of the bed and he made his way to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

"Leave." Edward growled out, completely annoyed, slamming his bathroom door.

He began to brush his teeth as he waited for the water in his shower to heat up. After completely ridding his mouth of the taste of both Lauren and Victoria he stepped into the warm shower.

He held his face up into the spray, letting the water calm his pulsing head. He opened his eyes to reach for his shampoo, but was surprised to see Victoria standing in the shower just outside the spray. Surprised, but not _that _surprised.

"Lauren's gone," Victoria purred, winking at him.

_Yeah and now how do I get rid of _you_?_

"Oh."

"Yupp," she said. Popping the 'p,' Edward _hated _that.

She stepped closer to him putting her hands on his waist; she began to slide down his body until she was on her knees in front of him. He had to admit, he had fucked almost every girl on this goddamn rock, but Victoria was one of the most creative. That wasn't saying much.

_Who am I to deny a woman her desires?_

"Brace yourself, _big boy_," Edward had to hold back a scoff, Victoria was not _that_ good. Still, he obliged, winding his hands into her hair as she took him into her mouth.

"No hands," Edward said as her hands began to raise towards his shaft. Edward knew he had upset Victoria due to the fact that his voice was too cool, and he was not grunting in the "throws of passion."

He began to pump himself in and out of her mouth, and finally grunted his release, reaching over her for his shampoo.

He turned around and began to lather his hair in the fresh smelling soap. He did not turn around when he heard Victoria angrily stomp out of his bathroom. He simply smirked to himself, glad to be rid of_ both _the girls, and consequently, the majority of his headache.

Edward stepped out of his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked out into his room, going over to check his cell phone.

**15 UNREAD MESSAGES**

**9 MISSED CALLS**

He scanned through the messages and missed calls, deleting all but one message from Emmett, his twin brother.

**Wow dude. Victoria AND Lauren. AND they spent the night. I'm proud lil bro.**

**-Em**

**Emmett we are twins. I'm not your lil bro.**

**-Edward**

**Ahh but you are wee one.**

**-Em**

**Sorry we can't all be the size of a car Em.**

**-Edward**

He was laughing as he flipped his phone shut when he heard a knock on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, umm sorry I didn't know you weren't dressed," Rose stuttered when she walked into the room, turning her back to him.

"Aww Rosie, you weren't so shy last time," Edward chuckled out, with a knowing quirk of his eyebrow.

"What. The. Fuck. Edward!" she screeched out through clenched teeth, Edward could see the vein in her forehead, and noticed her fist clenching, but he couldn't help himself.

"Now _that _I remember, you were quite the feisty one," he was trying to hide his smirk. Trying, not succeeding.

She gave him her best death glare before obviously changing the subject, fists still clenched at her sides, "Is Emmett home? I couldn't find him or anyone else any where."

"Well he saw the girls leaving my room I know, so I guess he's around here somewhere."

"Okay. _Thanks_," Rose sneered, turning to leave.

"Wait," her hand paused on the doorknob, "uhhh....About earlier, I'm-I'm, I didn't-"

"Edward Cullen, are you _apologizing_?" She said whipping around to face him, a smirk obvious on her face.

"Don't tell anybody," Edward chuckled, returning her smirk. With that she turned around, leaving his room.

He quickly dressed and ran downstairs, grabbing some Asprin and coffee on his way out.

_10:38, damn it I have seven minutes._

Edward made the ten minute drive in just under six minutes, a smug smirk in place as he ran into the building, simultaneously ripping off his shirt and shorts.

He was placing his goggles when he ran into his coach at the entrance to the pool. He saw relief flood his coach's face when he saw Edward. Why wouldn't he be relieved? Edward was nationally ranked, and had yet to place lower than second this season. But Edward _had _missed a few meets here and there. In his defense it had yet to actually be his fault. After all, whose fault was it that he didn't know how to get from _all _the girls he slept with's homes (and several open fields) to the secluded gyms they swam at. Certainly not his that would be _way _too much information.

He hurriedly jumped into the pool for a brief warm up before his first race. He loved swimming, it was so easy for him to just zone out. It wasn't unusual for him to win a race, and continue to swim unaware of this fact, his notorious 'victory laps'.

After five hours of on and off races, Edward sprinted out of the gym, throwing on his shorts and shirt over his still wet clothes. His relief from avoiding the "Edward fan club" was short lived when he spotted Jessica Stanley leaning against his car in her usual attire (a white shirt with a picture of Edward swimming from last year's yearbook across the front with the words "EDDIE THE FISH!" written in bright red letters under his picture, and the shortest jean skirt Edward had ever seen, and that's saying quite a bit) it would be funny if it weren't so creepy. So _very very _creepy.

"You were sooooo good today Eddie!" The girl gushed as Edward attempted to maneuver around her, trying to get to his car door.

"Thanks, glad you came," he didn't want to piss off too many girls today, he wasn't that stupid.

"Oh! Hehe, speaking of which..." she leaned in closer, lowering her voice, practically moaning into his ear, "I almost came when you did those last two victory laps."

"Really? Wish I could've been in the stands with you babe," he said turning away from her to unlock his car door, "but, I can't do anything tonight, family thing, sorry."

"Oh, okay! Well see you later!" Damn she was perky, Edward _hated _perky, not enough not to sleep with it, _that _took a lot.

She went to stand in front of his car, waving at him as he peeled out of the parking lot. He didn't wave back.

Edward didn't feel bad; he hadn't even lied to her! He actually felt quite good about himself. He _did_ have a 'family thing' his mandatory Sunday night family dinner to be exact.

His mom was cooking in the kitchen when he got home.

"Dinner is at six!" She called out to Edward as he walked past the kitchen to the living room where the rest of his family sat. His brother and 'Dad' were sitting on the couches watching the game, and little Alice sat on the floor with Jasper as they whispered back and forth. It was almost _too _sweet, but Edward was happy for them, he just wasn't 'jealous' of them, he didn't want it. Ever.

"Where's Rose?" Edward asked.

"Well, umm, my car broke down, so she's helping me out in the garage," Edward's 'Dad' answered obviously ashamed that he couldn't fix it himself.

It wasn't that Edward didn't like his new stepfather, but it was just that Edward could tell he felt out if place still. It was his first year as a member of the Cullen family, it took some adapting. Edward could still see his awe at the amount of money the family possessed and the rest of the family's attitude towards it. But, none the less, Edward could tell he loved Edward's mom, Esme, Edward just needed to get used to Charlie.

**Who saw it coming?! I hope not too many...**

**Carlisle COULD still be in the story, but he and Esme wouldn't be together, so tell me if you want him in it or not!**

**Your second CLANCYBB CHAPTERLY QUOTA**

**17!**

**(as in I want to be at 17 before I **

**post again, 7 more!)**

**Much love,**

**KPB**


	3. Chapter 3

**For some reason I don't like this chapter too much, it was weird writing it. But thanks for all the reviews. Don't forget to tell me your ideas on the Carlisle issue!!!**

Chapter 3:

Bella had no idea how much time had elapsed since the men had left. She didn't even know if the sun had risen yet. All she saw was the back of her eyelids, all she heard was her dry sobs, and all she felt was her aching body and the grimy pavement below her, she was slowly being overcome by numbness. She simply lay on the ground, both while the men used her and after they had left. She laid there until her body was completely numb. Then she finally remembered James.

She lifted herself up, steadied her breathing, and pulled up her pants and making due with her ripped pants. She knew she must have looked awful, but she just couldn't find it in herself to care. She began walking to James' house, finally realizing that the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon.

_I have school tomorrow._

Bella couldn't process anything beyond that. Beyond typical routine, the idea that most people in her position would not be attending school for a while did not cross her mind, she simply walked.

As she walked she began to feel an emptiness within herself. An emptiness that she somehow knew had not arisen due to last night, but had simply been brought to her attention. Bella was different, always had been, always would be, and she came to the understanding that nothing would ever perfectly fill this emptiness. Never. And she didn't care, she _couldn't _care. She just continued to walk down the street to James' house.

She didn't even hesitate to walk down the dark alley behind his house. Her numbness could have easily been mistaken for courage. The only hesitation came when she knocked on his window, pausing briefly before lightly tapping it.

She tapped several more times. No response.

The sun was almost above the trees at this point.

_I should go get ready for school._

She turned around and headed back to her house. It wasn't until she turned down _the _alley that she realized the men had been right. And the only emotion that ran through her was curiosity as to why she just _didn't _care.

She crawled back into her room and stripped as she turned on the shower. She didn't wait for it to heat up; she stepped into the shower completely unaware of the icy water. She took off the lid to her brand new 35 fl. oz. bottle of body wash and poured the entire contents of the bottle onto herself. She spent fifteen minutes scrubbing her numb body with two different luffas and a wash clothe.

She finally stepped out, she threw away the empty container, the luffas, the wash clothe, and all her clothes from last night. Before squeezing every last ounce of toothpaste in the tube into her mouth and brushing her teeth, she then rinsed three times with Listerine. She disposed of both of these items as well.

She did not look at herself in the mirror.

She dressed in her usual attire, old jeans and an old shirt. She grabbed her bag and cell phone before leaving the house, ignoring Renée's offer of food.

She checked her phone when she got in the car.

_They were right, _he _was right._

**1 UNREAD MESSAGE**

**12 MISSED CALLS**

All from James.

She checked the text message.

**If you're just gonna flake on me, for something THIS important, then I can't be with you. Enjoy the rest of your night doing whatever the hell you are doing.**

**-James **

She felt a pang of _something, _though she couldn't quite pinpoint the emotion. She wasn't going to try to 'win him back' and she was _not _going to tell him. He'd forget about it before their senior year began, probably before their junior year end in a month. He'd forget about her and this and everything. She wouldn't. She didn't care.

School was a blur until her third class, English, and her only class with James. She walked into the room two minutes late.

"Where have you been Miss Swan?"

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize; just visit me in lunch for your detention.... Take your seat Miss Swan."

She slid down into her desk next to James, shielding herself from his glare with her hair. She succeeded in not drawing any attention to herself until fifteen minutes before the class was out, when James nudged her and passed her a note.

_What the hell happened last night?_

_I _(she hesitated) _fell asleep. Sorry._

_Sure you weren't with somebody else? God. We're over. Okay?_

_Okay._

And she didn't care! She became slightly frustrated with herself. She missed caring, a little. She wasn't angered by the accusation, nor was she upset about the break up. She was only 'slightly frustrated' with her numbness.

Bella was thankful for her lunch detention... she didn't feel like eating. She didn't feel like much of anything, but she just had no desire to eat. She sat in her English room pretending to do her homework; she couldn't focus enough to actually _do _it.

The rest of the day was, again, a blur. As was the rest of the week.

She began a new routine of avoiding Renée, who believed Bella's change in attitude was due to her recent breakup, James, who shared the same opinion as Renée, food, and all men. She even began skipping her classes with male teachers.

Her friends were more difficult, none of them liked James in the first place, so they refused to believe she was this upset over the "much needed" breakup as they called it. Their constant messages about going out, meeting new guys, and small talk eventually led Bella to dropping her phone in her toilet. She never used it any more anyways.

Bella's grades began to drop, even though she was constantly in lunch detentions 'doing work,' and still she didn't care. On Monday she received a 47% on her pre-calculus test, meaning she had to have Renée sign it.

Bella didn't consider forging her mom's signature, or just not turning the test back in, she wasn't a bad kid, she still did what she was told, and that's how she found herself having a 'heart-to-heart' with her mom on Monday afternoon.

"Honey? What's wrong, you don't fail. And what's happened with your friends, you never leave the house anymore, you never leave your _room _anymore!" Bella could tell her actions had been upsetting her mom recently, scaring her actually.

"Is this really _just _about James?" Renée was being sweet, and caring, yes, but Bella didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to go to her room and... Not think, not do anything, simply _be._

"Yeah, I've got to go do some extra credit for math," Bella attempted to escape, but Renée _had _to do something, she was terrified and confused.

"Would it help if you weren't here, so you weren't reminded of him so much, if you took a break maybe?" Renée called after her. Bella froze in the middle of the room, with her back to her mom.

That actually sounded ..._nice_...

"Where would I go?" She might be able to feel again, to care. She needed out. She wanted out. Bella _wanted _something!

"I was thinking your Dad's? How much fun would that be? And he has so many step children just about your age, and I talked to him already, and he would love for you to come, you could stay with him on father's day for the first time in God knows how long! And he said your welcome as long as you want, and you haven't seen him in so long!" Renée began speed talking, she was gushing, obviously excited about possibly getting her daughter back.

"I'll look into it mom," Bella had yet to turn around.

"No need, I already bought your ticket. Now, it's one way so you can just-"

"You already bought the ticket." It wasn't so much a question. Bella was hardly surprised; she should have seen this coming.

"Ah, come on Bella! It's paradise! Who knows you might even meet some new _guys_!"

"Really, Mom, that's not exactly what I want to.... to think about," Bella felt so stupid, she knew how scared she sounded, but it went unnoticed by Renée, she was caught up in the ideas of paradise.

"I'll go."

"What was that dear? I didn't hear you."

"I'll go," Bella repeated, louder this time.

"You leave Wednesday! Surprise! Oh, I'll help you pack; no need to go to school tomorrow anyways, Charlie already has you enrolled for next Monday!"

"O-okay, I'll just be in my room..." Bella dashed off to her room.

"I'm going to Hawaii," she whispered to herself as she slid down the floor with her back to her closed door.

The next few days were blurrier than any thus far, Renée practically bought her a whole new wardrobe, and packed everything for her, as she just sat on her bed in shock.

She couldn't tell someone how she got to the airport, through the security checkpoint, or onto the plane.

It wasn't until she was a mile in the air, enroute to LAX, that Bella came back to Earth. And so did her emotions, _everything _that her numbness had kept away from her for a week and a half. She broke down, she was terrifying everyone on her flight she knew.

She couldn't help it. All of her fear, disappointment, disgust, rage, even emptiness. It was as if someone had opened Pandora's box inside if Bella. And for the first time since Monday morning two weeks ago, Bella began to feel the emptiness within her again. The eternal emptiness that her numbness had hidden from her.

_Get used to it. What could ever fill it? Nothing_

"Ma'am...MA'AM!" The stewardess finally gained Bella's eye contact, but what she saw made her wish she hadn't.

"A-are you okay?"

"No, but I'm better- I'm sorry..." her voice was surprisingly steady, steadier than the stewardess's.

"For what dear?" She sat down in the empty seat next to Bella, attempting to calm her, not only to appease the passengers, but she felt a desire to help this girl. She looked like a baby dear in headlights. She looked so young and innocent, yet like she had been given too much to handle, but she knew she was trying, the stewardess would never deny that.

"For disrupting the flight, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry I couldn't help it," Bella's sobs were quieting, and for once in what seemed like forever she was glad someone was with her.

"Screw the other passengers," the stewardess spat out, the girl needed someone, she could tell, she also knew that she couldn't be that person, "everyone deserves a breakdown."

"Jane, come on," another stewardess said as she walked by.

"Sorry dear, I have to go get ready for landing, please, tell someone what it is your hiding, you don't have to be alone when you breakdown."

Bella stared up at her with wide, watery, thankful eyes as she walked away.

She never saw the stewardess again, and she regretted not thanking her, but she was forever grateful she got on _that _plane.

**ClancyBB Chapterly Quota:**

**22**

**(That's 5 more, and PLEASE do it fast...**

**I really want to update! **

**But I still want reviews! Haha)**

**Much love,**

**KPB**


	4. Chapter 4

**I think this chapter may drag a bit, but I don't know… tell me what you think!**

**Also, do you guys think my grammar and spelling is okay?**

**And thanks for all the reviews! And I still want your all's opinion on the Carlisle matter!**

"Family meeting in the kitchen!" Esme's voice crackled over the intercom system.

Edward stood up from his pre-calc homework at his desk. He was glad for the excuse to not have to do the work. He walked out his room and down the stairs where everyone else sat. The whole 'family.'

"Since when are Rose and Jasper family?"

"Since we moved in next to them.... Eight years ago! They always come to the family meetings!" The pixie said. She was practically bouncing in her seat, too excited to actually be mad at anyone.

"What's got you so excited, finally reach five feet?"

"Hey! I'm still growing!"

"No, you're not, you're sixteen." she stuck her tongue out at him while Emmett tried not to laugh.

"Kids, come on!" Esme sang out, managing a motherly yet stern tone, "Charlie has a something to tell you, well not Alice, but everybody else."

"How'd _she _find out?" Emmett whined.

"_She _actually answers the home phone every once in awhile, even when it's _not _for her," Alice said mockingly.

"Well, umm, you all know my daughter, she's the boys age," Charlie started awkwardly, "well her mom's been worried about her recently, and we decided it would be best if she got out of Arizona for a bit and came and lived with us."

"For how long?" Edward asked, not too interested, yet even less interested in his homework.

"We don't know yet! It could be a year even!" Alice sang clapping her hands together.

"The most we know is until after father's day probably," Charlie said his excitement at this fact undeniable.

"And she's going to stay in the just room between Emmett and Edward! And I've already started buy-"

But she was drowned out by the laughter of Emmett, Rose, and Edward.

"What?!" Alice demanded.

"Well it's just that, she may have some trouble sleeping," Emmett said between fits of laughter.

"We'll just leave you kids to discuss this," Esme said pulling a confused Charlie towards their escape.

"Why not? Stop being stupid guys!"

"Alice," Edward said, calming down, "there is a reason that room is never occupied... You know how loud Em and Rose can get."

"Don't pin this all on us! The majority of "Edward's Fan Club" are quite the screamers!"

"Oh god!" Alice quickly hid her face in Jasper's awaiting arm.

"It's okay Alice... Why has Bella's mom been worried about her?" Rose asked in an attempt to change the subject, but all three continued to giggle.

"Ohh! We'll this is privileged, so you can't say anything to anyone, including Bella!" Alice said, obviously excited to divulge the secret.

"Okay," rang out around the table.

"Well I was talking on the phone to Renée about three days ago when Charlie wasn't home and she seemed so scared! So I talked to her, trying to calm her down, and she told me that a week ago Bella snuck out. Though Bella doesn't know her Mom knew. She thought she was going over to visit her boyfriend. But now she's not so sure. Anyways, turns out her and her boyfriend broke up. Ever since that night Bella hasn't been eating or talking or going out, Renée says she just locks herself up in her room twenty-four seven. She said she'd never seen Bella acting like this before, especially over a boy, she thinks something else happened and she thought it would be a good idea for her to get out of Arizona."

It was silent for a moment, everyone was thinking over the mystery that was Isabella Swan.

"So what do you think happened?" Rose asked.

"I think... I think her boyfriend may have tried to... rape her or something, but what do I know?" Alice stated sadly.

"Nothing," Edward growled out, frustrated with everyone for gossiping about this girl, "So stop making up shit about your step _sister_!" And with that he left the 'family meeting.'

"I'm going out mom," he yelled out, not waiting for an answer, he hopped into his car and sped off to the one of the closest houses he could think of.

He knew Tanya's parents were out for the week, a fact she made sure he was aware of. So he parked in front of her house and rang the door bell.

"Edward! I knew you-"

He didn't let her finished. He smashed his lips to hers and walked her back into the house, slamming the door with his foot. Edward slipped his hands up her shirt and began taking it off as she unbuttoned his pants. He didn't understand why he was so frustrated, he just was and he needed _something _to release the stress.

He finally got off her shirt and began kicking off his shoes and pulling down his pants while she began working on her own. He pushed her down onto a conveniently located couch. Edward fell on top of her as Tanya continued to 'sexily' moan out his name and a few repetitive phrases. He pushed into her, a bit too roughly, but she didn't seem to be complaining. He set a short quick rhythm, craving his release.

"Oh! Eddie! I'm so close!"

"Don'.." He grunted out with each thrust. She looked up at him but he didn't look down, he focused on the wall behind her. He started going faster, harder, he was _so _close.

He released into her. But it wasn't enough, for the first time in three years, sex wasn't the answer.

_What the fuck! Now I'm just _more _frustrated!_

He jumped off of her, running around, looking for his clothes. Why now? God, well at least this Bella girl might be able to get some sleep now.

_Maybe it's just Tanya.... Hope so...._

"Eddie? What's wrong?"

"I told you _don't _call me that," he growled at her, not looking over to her.

_Oh shit..._

"Are you on the pill?"

"W-what?"

"Are you taking birth control?!"

"Y-yes?" He was scaring her, but he wasn't ready for that, he'd never be ready for that, and he didn't have time to sit around and explain this to her.

"Are you?!"

"Yes! Yes I am!"

He didn't respond he just slipped on his shoes and walked out to his car.

The next few days were dedicated to Bella. Getting her books for school, turns out she was in all the same classes as Edward and about half of Emmett and Jasper's, getting her new clothes, redecorating the room, buying enough weed to calm the girl down if need be (Jasper's idea), thinking up what to make for dinner for her first night here, and buying all the her needed toiletries.

Edward and Emmett were given the job of going to Walgreen's and buying all her toiletries. Alice had given them a list of all the things Renée had told her Bella kept in her bathroom (Alice had been on the phone with Renée for _hours _each day.

"What's the first thing on the list Em?" Edward said grabbing a cart.

"Cocoa Butter hand and body lotion.... So she's soft!" Emmett had been trying to figure out as much as possible about Bella since Monday, he was frustrated with the lack of 'up to date' photos Charlie had of her.

"Or she's really dry and that's why she has to use this," Edward said holding up the lotion before tossing it in the cart, "Next item."

"Neutrogena Ultra Sheer....SPF 95! Maybe she's albino!"

"Or pale....Next item," Edward said, throwing in the item.

"Glade scented candles in strawberry and vanilla... Oh I see them!" Emmett yelled back to Edward as he took off, "Damn, I'm gonna be sneaking into her bathroom..." when Emmett noticed the weird look Edward was giving him he handed him the candles, "Smell them, they're orgasmic..."

"Orgasmic?"

"Better believe it lil bro... Now... Strawberry and Cream body wash, wow, well she's got a thing for strawberries."

"What's the count down Eddie?" Emmett and Alice had started a countdown to when Bella would arrive and had programmed it into everyone's phones.

"Three hours thirty-nine minutes until her plane arrives, three hours fourteen minutes until we leave the house," and Edward couldn't help the excitement that flooded through him, there was just something so intriguing about the girl, maybe it was the mystery, maybe it was the fact she was his step sister, he didn't know.

"We need to hurry up... Ummm, tampons!" Emmett started jogging over to the tampons.

_How the hell dies he know where those are?_

"Hey Eddie?! Super plus or junior light?!" Emmett's voice boomed through the store.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Well she's not very big but she is...'developed'," Emmett said, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" For some reason the idea of Emmett knowing this about Bella angered Edward, that was private, Emmett shouldn't know that before he's even _met _her. He shouldn't know that before Edward. Should he?

_God, what's happening to me? She's just another girl!_

But somehow Edward knew that was false.

"I saw the new bras Alice had bought her in the 'war zone'," the 'war zone' was what they had begun to call Bella's room since it was constantly under the 'attack' of Alice, Rose, and Esme.

"Oh. Okay creeper," Edward tried to laugh it off, but it continued to bother him.

Edward was still mad about it as he piled into Emmett's H2 with the rest of 'family' as they prepared to leave to go pick up Bella.

"Guys hurry up! We are gonna be late!" Alice called into the house to Charlie and Esme who had both just gotten home from buying Bella a welcoming gift, "We are two minutes behind!"

It was currently 4:00 PM and Bella's flight got in at 4:13 PM.

"Alice we'll be fine! She's not going to be out there waiting for us at _exactly _4:13," Emmett said from the driver's seat trying to calm her down.

"What if she gets in early? And she doesn't have our numbers! And-and.... I'm so excited!" and it was obvious, everyone was excited, though some where showing it more than others.

The drive to the airport seemed to hours, when, in reality, it took about ten minutes. The atmosphere in the car had never been better, everyone listened to Charlie retell stories if Bella's childhood.

_Now that's the kind of kid I could handle. _

Edward had been surprising himself lately, this 'Bella' fascinated him, and he wanted to know all about her, to _see _her, or _speak _to her. And for the first time in a _long _time, Edward was nervous to meet a girl.

"God! Finally! I thought we'd _never _get here.... Its 4:13 guys! Hurry up! Hurry up!" Alice sang as she skipped over to baggage claim where they were to meet Bella.

Edward was anxious as he stood apart from his family awaiting Bella's arrival. He ran his hands through his hair trying to get a grip on himself; this was all new to him.

"Bella!" Edward whipped around in the direction of Charlie's voice, and saw Charlie awkwardly hugging a little brunette. Her head was barely above Charlie's shoulder, Come meet everybody," Charlie said leading her over to his family.

Edward stood in awe of the girl, there was something so beautiful about her, and she looked so innocent with her small frame and big doe eyes, which grew even larger upon seeing the large group of people waiting for her.

And Emmett's 'assumption' was _very _accurate.

They formed somewhat of a semicircle around her, preparing for introductions, she seemed to shrink back. She looked so scared.

"Well this is Edward," Edward reached out his hand, he loved the feel of her hand in his, she timidly shook his hand, before withdrawing her own.

"Nice to meet you."

"And this is Emmett," Edward had to suppress a growl as he watched Emmett bring her up into a big bear hug, her body pressed tightly against his, he didn't know if it was jealousy or a desire to protect her from what was making her look so fearful.

"Edward and Emmett are twins, they're both juniors too, and this is Rose, Emmett's girlfriend and our neighbor, she's a sophomore," Rosalie also received a hug and Edward was beginning to feel left out.

"And this is Alice-"

"Bella! I'm so glad to-"

But Edward did not here the rest, he was too mad at himself for not thinking to hug the girl, as again she was swept up into a hug.

"-Alice is a sophomore too, and this is her boyfriend, Rose's brother, and our neighbor, Jasper, who is a junior-"

_Really Jasper? _You _hug her? You aren't a girl! And you're not related to her! _

_Calm down it's just a hug..._

"-And this is Esme, my wife-"

_Finally! The hugs are over with!_

He turned his attention back to Bella in time to see her being bombarded with questions. She wasn't even given the chance to answer any of them! Edward wanted to pluck her up and carry her off to some place quiet and remote, where she had nothing to fear.

"Hey! Bella! What do your bags look like?" Emmett yelled over to her as he and Jasper walked over to the conveyer belts that had just turned on.

"It's purple and blue, hard to miss..." she replied quietly.

Edward jogged over to the guys to relay the message.

"You only brought one bag?!" He heard Alice's baffled screech from fifty feet away.

"Got it!" Emmett hollered, jogging back over to the group to leave, "let's go!"

"Here Emmett I'll drive, you kids can sit in the back," Charlie offered.

Bella sat between Edward and Emmett with Rose in Emmett's lap and Alice and Jasper in the row in front of them.

"So how was your flight?" Emmett asked swinging an arm around her shoulder. Edward felt Bella flinch next to him at the contact.

"Good."

"So what's your number Bella?" Alice asked.

"I don't have a phone."

Everyone went silent.

"So how did you manage to pack everything in one suitcase?" Edward asked, changing the subject, liking the idea of helping her, protecting her.

She looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, she still seemed so scared, "I-I didn't pack, my mom did, she wanted everything to be a surprise," she said slowly, carefully. Edward couldn't believe how drawn to her he felt.

Edward got out his phone as Alice talked animatedly about nothing. He sent a text to Emmett blocking his number.

When his phone went off he had to use his hand around Bella to answer it, while Edward quickly put his arm around the back of her chair, careful not to actually touch her, so Emmett couldn't replace his arm. And she seemed to relax a bit.

Edward reveled in the feeling of being this innocent girl's protector; she seemed to need one so badly, though she didn't seem like the type of girl to admit it. She just seemed so breakable, maybe even broken, to Edward; he had never felt anything as strong as his current desire to shield her from the world.

Edward's arm was so close to Bella that he could feel the heat emanating from her body, he wanted so badly to wrap her up in his arms, even though he had never been one for cuddling... and he hadn't even known the girl an hour ago! But before he knew it his suffering self-control was granted a break, one he wasn't sure he wanted, as everyone began unloading from the car.

"Hurry up guys, we don't have much time!" Alice trilled as she danced up to the front door, obviously excited about something.

Edward jumped from the car smoothly as he took in the look of awe on Bella's face, obviously stunned by the size and elegance of the Cullen's home.

"Welcome to our humble abode," Edward said, coming to stand next to her with his hands in his pockets, making sure to grant her a wide birth.

She stared up at him with wide eyes, not speaking, not that he would have heard anyways, he was falling quickly into the depths of her expressive chocolate eyes, yet he couldn't help but notice the small amount of fear and conflict her eyes still held.

_Is she scared of me? I just me her! She couldn't have jumped to conclusions _that _easily; I'm not that easy to read, am I? How could she have found out about me and my...ways...?_

Edward had encountered many girls that would not even talk to him due to the various rumors that spread through the town, mostly true, still he couldn't understand how Bella could possibly have heard any of these.

He was quickly pulled out of his reverie by Alice's fussing, "Bella! Hurry up! I've got to get you ready for the party!"

Bella turned her gaze away from Edward quickly to continue up to the house; Edward couldn't help but chuckle as he watched her gulp.

_Obviously not one for partying. _

He had almost forgotten about the party, _the _party actually. The Cullen's were famous for their end of the year Tiki party on their private beach that lay about a quarter of a mile south of the house.

_Ah, the party..._

**Do you guys think my grammar and spelling is okay?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! I'm at about two a day I just figured hahaha. Anywho the next couple chapters may be a tad short and drag, but I'm getting there! Promise!**

**Also I may not be able to update for a while because I'm going out of town for a little over a week. BUT... if you guys are EXTRA nice and review LOTS AND LOTS I may just be able to schmegel over to a hotel lobby computer!**

**And one more thing... I'm writing a few chapters ahead of this and let me just say... get ready! I'm so excited for it! Hahahaha**

_A party?...A party?! I've only been here five seconds! _

Bella had never been one for partying, and recently her feelings towards them have only grown darker. But, she came here in hopes of getting... _better_. So she let Alice tug her into the all too beautiful house. She briefly wondered if she would ever feel at home here, but her wondering was quickly silenced when the little fairly like girl named Alice through her into a room on the second floor. She barely noticed her surroundings; she was far too focused on Alice. She did notice her brightly colored duffel bag that Jasper had brought up for her. It was her only connection to Arizona.

_Maybe that's for the best..._

Alice flew around the room so quickly that Bella had a hard time processing what she was doing. When Alice flew into the closet Bella couldn't do anything but follow, and what she saw stunned her.

It was about the size of her room at her Mom's house, which wasn't exactly tiny, it had an island in the middle of the main area that had _hundreds _of purses on top and Bella couldn't even begin to fathom what occupied the numerous drawers located on the island's sides. Bella was too overwhelmed to walk any further into the 'closet' but from where she stood she could tell the room diverged, at the end furthest end from her, in both directions, causing the room to form a T like shape, and for the sake of Bella's sanity she hoped the T did not acquire any further extensions beyond those she saw.

Suddenly, Alice came flying towards Bella from the left of the T.

"Here put these on, I'm gonna go get ready in my room," Alice sounded out of breath, but somehow managed to maintain an energetic aura. She started to gracefully skip out of the room.

"Wait- who's room is this then?" Bella was still in shock, but she was quickly recovering.

"Yours silly!" Alice said with a girly giggle, she seemed so sweet, "Emmett is on your right and Edward's on your left," she stated, then suddenly became serious and... worried?... "If you ever need to come up to my room don't hesitate!" She quickly rushed out of the room after looking at the clock behind Bella's head, "Me and Rose will be over in an hour to explain everything!" Alice called over her shoulder.

_Explain everything? _

_Wait. 'My' room?_

_That couldn't mean...?_

_There's no way that...._

_Who the hell left all these clothes in here?_

Bella walked back into the room and couldn't help but consider all the progress she'd made in just one day. She had discussed her problems... well listened to somebody else vaguely discuss them. She had hugged two guys... last week at school when a boy had attempted such contact he had ended up with Bella's lunch all over his shirt. And she had let Emmett put his arm around her... again, the lunch issue previously. But most importantly she had been able to think, comprehend, what was going on around her! She was proud of herself, she _felt _proud.

But, this party seemed too much like a test, and she hadn't been doing so well on those as of late.

For the first time she looked down at what Alice had placed in her hands.

_Aw hell! _

_Might as well... No time like the present. Right...?_

She sat the offending material down on her bed. She closed her eyes, attempting to forget the grey green bikini with pale blue strings connecting the various triangles that were the swimsuit and the small black cover-up, as she timidly began to remove her clothing.

She quickly threw on the bikini.

"What kind of party is this anyway?" She mumbled to herself as she reached for her cover-up.

"A Tiki beach party of course, they're practically traditional around here," came Rose's cool voice from behind her.

"Oh my god! Bella!!! You look amazing!" Alice sang as she burst in the room, Rose behind her.

Bella twirled around hugging the cover-up to her body. She would have to remember to lock her door. _Always_.

"What are you trying to hide?" Alice demanded peeling Bella's arms away from her body along with the cover up and leading Bella over to the full length mirror on the door of the 'closet.'

"Yeah Bella, you really do look amazing," Rose said coolly, appearing at Bella's side and studying her reflection in the mirror with a small smile gracing her already stunning features.

"Oh I just _knew _this would look amazing on you!" Alice gushed. She continued talking but Bella zoned out, she could only focus on the reflections' of the two girls on her sides standing there in only their swimsuits and teeny cover-ups.

Rose was the epitome of the 'American Beauty' with her long straight blonde hair hitting just bellow her breasts, which were ample to say the least and long, _long_, legs, she was perfectly tanned, with piercing blue eyes and full lips. Rose's beauty could rival that of Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears at their peaks... today they wouldn't stand a chance against her.

Alice's beauty, on the other hand was something Bella had never witnessed, she was petite, no more than five feet, probably not even that (not that Bella could say much as she was only five feet two inches), with spiky black hair that only _she _could pull off. Her bright green eyes simply _sparkled_, and one couldn't help but instantly love her, even Bella. Especially Bella. Bella couldn't describe Alice's beauty, but she knew that she would never be able to pick out which of the two girls was more beautiful.

"Bella?" Alice asked, attempting to hand her her black cover-up while Bella was still...zoned out.

"Oh, sorry," Bella apologized grabbing the black clothing and pulling it on thankfully, but it was so form fitting it hardly left anything to the imagination.

Suddenly Bella was being pulled across the room to a vanity table by an excited Alice.

"Rose you can do her hair, I'm thinking...sexy sex hair," Alice giggled as Rose started to brush out Bella's hair.

"I can do my own hair," Bella grumbled, she almost sounded like a child, and crossing her arms did not help.

"Oh no honey, have you forgotten I've been talking to your mom? From what I understand you can _not _do your hair," it wasn't meant to be rude simply a statement of fact, and Bella was not offended, it was truth after all, "or your makeup."

Bella stared up at her with wide eyes, "Really? Do I have to?"

"No... _I _have to!" Alice giggled opening up a bottle of moisturizer, "So what questions do you have so far? I know you must be terribly confused!"

"Oh yeah, who left all their clothes in that closet?"

"What do you mean those are yours," Rose answered, beginning to tease Bella's hair.

"W-what?"

"Don't sound so scared! Okay, okay, Renée told me you might act like this, but there was no way your old wardrobe would work here! You would need all new clothes any ways! Just think of it as a...welcoming gift!" Alice trilled enthusiastically.

"A welcoming gift?! I could clothe half of Africa with all of that!" She tried her best to glare at Alice but it was slightly awkward as she couldn't move her head due to Rose's hands in her hair.

"Oh hush, no sister of mine is going to get any less!"

"Ah come on! I'm only your stepsister so can't I only have like-half the clothes?"

"Stop while your ahead babe!" Rose said.

"How is this ahead?!"

"You have enough clothes to 'clothe half of Africa'!" Both Rose and Alice yelled shocked and confused with her.

"Well then Africa's just behind! I don't take joy in the misfortune of others!" And suddenly all three girls bust into hysterics. God, Bella felt like she hadn't laughed in _years_!

The next hour went by quickly as Bella grew fonder and fonder of Rose and Alice. But at 6:30 Rose and Alice had to go prepare for the party that started at 8:00.

"Edward will be waiting downstairs to drive you over to the party, he's probably already down there if you want to go hang out with him, or you could stay up here and unpack, or do whatever," Alice said before she and Rose departed.

Bella was on some sort of high from her recent talk with Rose and Alice and decided that maybe she could face a guy, alone.

_Don't be so nervous, he seems nice enough!_

Bella timidly walked down the stairs to the living room where Edward sat on the couch.

_God, he's beautiful._

_I bet people approach him about modeling all the time!_

_No need to worry about him trying anything, he's _way _out of my league!_

Even from the side he was the most beautiful thing Bella had ever seen with his strong jaw line, full lips, straight nose, eyes just like Alice's, and messy bronze hair.

"See anything you like?" Bella was horrified at being caught staring at him. How could she be so stupid! She felt the blush heating her cheeks as he turned to her chuckling and she had to look down.

_Come on Bella! Don't pussy out now!_

She started walking towards him and went to sit on the straight back chair next to the couch.

_She's staring at me!_

Edward found it odd that something he would have found annoying had any other girl done it he found endearing when Bella did it.

"See something you like?" Edward couldn't help himself. He was about to apologize when he saw blush lighting up her face and he began to chuckle, she was just so adorable!

_An adorable sex kitten..._

Edward was a man after all; he couldn't help but notice how the simple black dress outlined her subtle curves and narrow frame. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

He started chuckling at the idea that he was falling for his _sister_, but suddenly stopped when he saw her practically having to _will _herself to walk towards him. She sat on the chair next to the opposite end of the couch where he sat, a good ten feet away from him when there was plenty of room on the couch, and it was far more comfortable. Sadly he realized she didn't want to be near him.

_She can't hate me that much already, can she?_

"So Bella... play any sports," Edward asked, determined for her to like him by the end of the night.

"I swam year round back home but I don't know if I will here..."

Edward couldn't have wished for a better answer! If she decided to swim it would give him so much alone time with the fascinating girl, all the rides to and from practice, meets, not to mention all the time _at _the practices and meets.

"Oh yeah? Me too," he tried to sound as collected as possible; he hoped she bought it, "what about surfing?"

Edward loved surfing, as did Emmett, Jasper, and Rose, he'd love to teach her, after all it's what they always did after school most days, well Alice usually just sat on the beach reading magazine, occasionally getting on a board with Jasper, but Edward couldn't see Bella being too into Vogue and Cosmo.

"Well I'm not very coordinated; I doubt I'd be very good..."

"I could teach you," he said smiling over at her, loving the way her blush spread through her cheeks and she looked down.

_She is the _opposite _of 'my type.'_

_Your _'type' _is girls dipshit._

_But she's different._

_I know..._

He gave up on the internal on goings of his brain to think of a new question, "What's your favorite class?"

"It was English."

Edward said nothing about the 'was' he just continued with his questioning, being patient with her answers and never looking away from her, though she rarely made eye contact with him.

And so it went until Edward finally looked at his watch.

"Shit."

He looked over at her apologetically as he stood up, she stared back with wide eyes, "It seems we should be going before we are faced with the 'wrath of Alice'," her confused stare told him she obviously had no idea what he was talking about, or didn't know Alice her well yet, "it's 8:04."

Her full lips formed a tiny 'o' but her eyes looked slightly, well scared, but maybe... was that... disappointment?

_Me and you both._

She stood up next to him, well _close_, to him and for the first time he realized how much bigger than her he was, at least a foot, probably more, she wasn't five foot four inches. He felt so powerful, and at the same time not, if he was so powerful then she wouldn't always be so scared.

"Lead the way," she said sweetly, looking up at him, she obviously hadn't realized the size difference either until now.

"Come on shortie," Edward said, leading the way to the garage. He looked back over his shoulder to see her looking down and blushing.

_Way to go dipshit, now you've offended her._

He continued towards his car, unlocking it and going over to hold her door open. It wasn't until he turned around to look at her, frozen in the doorway, mouth agape, that he realized something was wrong.

"T-this is you car?" Was Bella's only answer to his questioning stare.

"Yeah, it was a birthday present last year, it's the one I usually take to parties," he answered simply, he was becoming uncomfortable with her stare, he wasn't used to people's shock of his family's wealth, most people just...understood it.

"The _one_? How many do you have?!" He stared down at his black Ashton Martin Vanquish considering if he should really answer that question.

"Let's just say this isn't the only level of this garage, now can you get in the car before Alice comes and drags you to the party herself!"

_At least you know she'll never love you just for the money...she's just like Charlie._

She stubbornly walked over to the car and got in as Edward shut her door behind her, and quickly walked over to the other side.

An awkward silence consumed the car as Edward turned the key in the ignition, realizing, to his horror and all to late, that he had left his favorite CD on, classical music filled the tight space as he quickly reached to turn it off.

_Now you seem like the biggest pussy in the world. Way. To. Go._

"Wait!" Edward turned to Bella, it was the loudest she'd been all day, "I-I like this song."

He couldn't help but chuckle as he peeked out of the garage. The ride to the party was silent aside from the music, but it wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet.

He pulled up to the parking area a few yards from the party, "Ready?" Edward asked, ready to hop out of the car to help her with her door, but much to his disappointment she seemed to have it under control. But, he could have sworn he heard her mumble 'no' before she stumbled out of the car and over to the awaiting Rose and Alice.

He waited in his car for a few moments, just watching her.

**Incase you didn't read at the top...**

**I may not be able to update for a while (I'm going out of town for about ten days) but if you review you little hearts out I may just find it in myself to steal somebody's laptop and update galore!**


	6. Chapter 6

_He waited in his car for a few moments, just watching her. _

She was beautiful, no one would deny that, but there was so much more, she just seemed so...real, and independent, no matter how much she needed someone, needed _him, _she would never admit it. But he could sense, that she _did _need someone, maybe even him, and he was awaiting the glorious day he would be able to show her.

He got out of his car and walked over to Emmett.

"So?! What do you think lil bro? Don't tell me you already put the moves on her?"

Edward looked at Emmett in horror, how could he even _think _that?!

"Of course not!" He all but barked at Emmett.

"Good," Emmett didn't seem to take notice of the harshness of Edward's words, "she's not your type."

"What does that mean? Aren't you always the one telling me my type is _girls_? She _does _fall into that category," he hoped Emmett didn't look too much into Edward's feelings for their half sister, though he was having a hard time controlling himself.

"Well yeah, but I'm beginning to reconsider that...your type is more...well frankly, whores," Edward didn't even time to argue before Emmett continued, "and _Bella _is _not _a whore," it almost sounded like a warning.

_Well that's the difference..._

"I'm not going to try anything with her," but it come out airily and with less conviction than Edward thought possible.

"I'm just saying, don't hurt her, and you being with might hurt her, no, it _will _hurt her, and a blind man could see that she's already broken," Edward couldn't believe the harshness of Emmett's words, and he didn't _want _to believe the underlying truth.

_I'd hurt Bella..._

"I just want to help her," it sounded as if Edward was almost begging.

"The one that protects the goal never scores the point."

_Wow man, Emmett that's deep._

"God, I got to stop drinking tequila, it makes me sound like a pussy," Emmett stated as he reached down to his legendary hip flask and took a swig of what Edward could only guess to be tequila. He then preceded to hand Edward the flask.

"Nah man, I can't, I gotta drive her home," Edward said broodingly as he pointed over to Bella who was awkwardly holding a beer and surrounded by half the guys of the junior class. Edward couldn't help but feel jealous, "got to protect the goal after all right?"

_Those assholes would hurt Bella too._

"Since when has that stopped you before?"

"You're the one that didn't want me to hurt her," he said a bit too harshly, as he stormed off like a pissed off five year old towards the ocean, a few people were already getting in the water, but most wouldn't get in until later and they were pretty wasted. He turned his back to the water and attempted to will the guys away from Bella with a death glare.

"Hey man, what's up?" Jasper drawled walking over to Edward with Alice giddily clinging to his hip.

"Nothing," Edward answered dully, not taking his eyes off Bella.

"Oh no Bella is not _nothing_!" Alice slurred out.

"What the hell have you done to her?" Edward said taking out his anger by switching over to protective brother mode and turning his glare to Jasper.

"Hey man, you know I can't say no to her," Jasper answer kissing her head, Edward turned back to Bella and the...the-boys, in disgust.

"Yeah you can just kill her via her liver slowly," Edward spat.

"Don't take out your jealousy of Jake on Jasper!" Alice spat back.

"I. Am. NOT. Jealous," Edward said clinching his fists at his side when he saw Jake dragging Bella off from the rest of the boys towards the opposite end of the beach from Edward, "I just... just don't want him to get her too drunk... this is the fifth beer he's given her in an hour!" Edward attempted to reign in his temper to no avail.

"Hehe. Then don't ask me how many _I've _had!" Alice squeaked skipping off and pulling Jasper into the water with her as she threw off her dress. Edward noticed more people were starting to get in the water.

_Hmm... They get in earlier every year. Wonder where Bella w-_

But suddenly Edward couldn't think any more, his thoughts were consumed solely by the woman at the end of the beach that was timidly slipping off her black dress. Her blue and green bikini covered little of her body and her pale skin seemed to be illuminated by the moon. Her long wavy dark hair stood out against the delicate skin of her back. Edward followed the black dress down her long, well toned, elegant legs until it hit the sandy ground. It was only then that he noticed the black shirt laying next to her dress and his eyes snapped up to it's owner.

_Jacob _fucking _Black!_

He didn't deserve to look at her, Edward wanted to rip his eyes out, and every other guy's eyes that's gaze was drifting over to the innocent little girl exposed on the beach. He watched angrily as Jacob pulled her off into the water, but was all to aware of the fact that her gaze did not meet Jacob's until the water was fully covering her exposed, beautiful body. His blood boiled as he watched Jacob jokingly dunk her under the water.

_He could hurt her!_

_You could hurt her!_

_I would _never _hurt her!_

But sadly he knew it was true, girls had to be pretty fucked up to be in a relationship, or whatever it was he did with girls, with Edward and his relationship theories, or lack thereof.

"Come dance big boy."

_Speaking of fucked up girls. Here's the original!_

Victoria continued to purr in his ear, but he paid her little attention. He didn't even realize she had peeled off his shirt and was currently dragging him off to the water. He couldn't pull his attention, or his eyes, away from Bella.

_Come on! Jacob's a pretty nice guy!_

_He got Leah _pregnant _last year!_

_They also went out for two years...he's not just gonna fuck her right here. Have some fun, follow her lead._

Edward tried to switch his attention over to Victoria who was currently telling him how wet she was.

_God she _is _a whore._

_I need to change 'my type.'_

But as soon as he saw Jake pulling Bella out of the water and towards where everyone was dancing he dragged Victoria off in the same direction.

_Just keeping an eye on her._

He just stood there as Victoria took the lead in grinding against him, determined to get a 'rise' out of him. But he, for once, didn't have sex on his mind. He watching as Jacob pressed his body against Bella and Edward dug his fingers into Victoria's hips to contain his anger, not that she was complaining.

And then everything happened very fast.

Edward watched as Jacob's hands began to roam over Bella's uncovered body, and so did Bella. She looked down at Jake's hands in what could only be described as horror as they rose up closer and closer to her breasts.

"S-stop," Edward saw more than heard her mumble.

And in an instant Edward was at her side, Victoria discarded somewhere in the masses, "Jacob," Edward growled. Jacob, startled, spun around to face him, and Edward took advantage of his momentary shock and ripped Bella out of his arms.

"Hey! What do you think your doing," Jacob slurred drunkenly as he followed Edward and Bella to the parking area.

Edward did not dignify that with a response, at least that's what he told himself, in truth he didn't trust his temper and he didn't want Bella to see him like that, she seemed so fragile, her small hands clinging to his arm, burying her face in his bare chest. And in a sick, selfish way, he loved it.

"Get in," Edward whispered into Bella's hair as he opened the car door for her, she quickly scrambled in. And only once the car door was shut behind her did he turn to Jacob.

"Stay the _fuck _away from her," Edward snarled, and a stunned Jacob was left in the sand as Edward peeled away.

"Bella..." Edward groaned out, it sounded so pitiful and pained. He was boiling over with anger, but at the same time she was sitting, half naked, mere inches from him, she was even drunk! It would be so easy...

_She deserves better! Remember:_

_You're a goalie now... Not a player._

"I'm so sorry! I tried, I really did, but I didn't want anything to happen, not again... I was scared," Edward was confused as she looked up at him with those watery puppy dog eyes. Then he realized something-

_She thinks I'm mad because she didn't wanted Jacob _groping _her!_

He felt a growl rumble in his chest at the idea, "I'm not mad at _you_, I'm mad at that _dog_, he should have stopped!"

She looked up at him confused; "They never stop..." her voice was barely audible.

"What do you mean?" Edward had a pretty good idea what she meant; someone had hurt her, what type of sadistic asshole would hurt _her_?

She seemed to consider the idea for awhile and it wasn't until then that Edward noticed he had pulled over to the side of the road. She sighed and Edward gripped the steering wheel even tighter in preparation for her answer.

"Edward, I'm damaged, very damaged."

"Who?!" Edward growled lowly, his knuckles were white by now as he stared ahead at the road. He knew the question didn't really name sense, he also knew that she knew what he meant.

"I don't know," she seemed almost calm about the entire situation... Maybe it was the alcohol...

Edward pulled back onto the road, guessing that her answer was just because she wasn't ready to confide in him, yet. He didn't even consider the idea that she might not actually know who had hurt her.

_God your cocky._

It wasn't until he pulled into the garage that she broke the pulsing silence.

"You deserve better."

_God. You _would _hurt her._


	7. Chapter 7

Bella rolled over onto her side, shoving her face into her pillow in an attempt to calm the pulsing in her head.

_What the hell happened last night?_

She finally sat up and slowly sank onto the floor below her bed, still half asleep, and still feeling half dead. She walked into the attached bathroom feeling groggy, and turned on the shower. She brushed her teeth as she waited for the water to heat up. And just as she was stepping into the shower last night came flooding back to her, well most of it at least.

Flashes of sand, water, boys, a lot of boys, Jake, waves, and...grinding were brought to the forefront of her mind. And that was all it took, Bella snapped.

She poured the entire bottle of shampoo onto her head and began scrubbing furiously. She spent a good fifteen minutes ridding her hair of the outrageous amounts of dirt and grime she felt there. Then she emptied the contents of her soap bottle onto her body, scrubbing so hard she was sure she would have evidence of her shower left on her for days in the form of scrapes and scratches. But she just didn't care, she felt so dirty, disgusting, like a common whore.

Finally, after an hour of shower, and thirty minutes of which were spent with cold water, Bella stepped out of her shower and dried herself, refusing to look in the mirror.

She walked into her room and over to her duffel bag, she pulled out her favorite tank top and sweatpants and curled into a ball on her bed.

"Bella! We were so worried about you!" Alice yelled as she and Rose jumped onto Bella's bed.

"Why?" Bella tried to put some emotion into her voice, she didn't want to offend her new friends, but it was so hard, all her progress. Gone.

"Well, with the way you and Edward left yesterday... And the way Edward is...Well we just figured," Rose started awkwardly.

"With the way Edward is?"

_Okay. Emotion isn't _that _hard._

"Well yeah, he's a More, we thought you would've figured that out by now," Alice looked genuinly confused.

_By now? I've hardly been here twelve hours!_

"A More?"

"A man whore of course," Alice said rolling her eyes as if this were simply common sense.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Bella replied wrly.

_She must be confused. _Edward_? Her brother Edward a- a- a _More_? _

It just wasn't possible he was so sweet and caring yesterday, yet not overly so, he was so genuine.

"Yeah, Edward sleeps with anything that walks and has boobs," Rose agreed with Alice...though her shifting eyes spoke volumes more than her previous jab at Edward.

_Okay, maybe it's just me, but is Rose usually this awkward?_

"I think you guys are wrong," Bella almost sounded defensive.

_Oh lord. What if I'm falling for him? What if he is a More?_

"I know Bella it's okay he can be quite charming I know," Alice said soothingly, "But, he is a strong believer in quantity before quality... _If _you know what I mean."

"Oh..."

_I really need to pick better guys. I really need to just stop with this whole guy thing... _

_I thought I had._

_Damnit Cullen, screwing everything up, literally._

_Ew._

Then suddenly something struck Bella.

"So what was it you meant last night about me being able to come up to your room anytime I needed?"

_He wasn't going to sneak into my room at night was he?_

"Oh god Alice!" Rosalie shreiked burying her face in the pillow next to Bella.

"Well it's just that it can get a bit loud in here sometimes, it's in a very _central _location" Bella's blank stare made it aware she did not understand, "Well Rose and Emmett are quite _active_," Alice quickly dodged a pillow that had previously resided beneath Rose's head, "And we've already explain how Edward is."

Understanding dawned on Bella's face in the form of a blush, which she quickly concealed in her pillow.

"Well, Rose, would you like to explain the day or shall I?" Rose's indignant humph was taken as a 'you' by Alice who quicky continued, "Well for our school on Fridays such as today, upper classmen, such as yourself, who are taking AP courses, such as yourself, and have maintained As throughout the year in their AP courses are not required to attend," Alice explained, she sounded so proffesaional, yet excited all the same, and, by the end of it, out of breath.

"Oh, so who else is going to be here?"

"Well," Rose started, coming out of her little tantrum, "Esme should be in and out, and everyone should be home at about three to go down to the beach and the boys may get here around two depending on their last class, but Edward should be here all day."

"But don't worry! We promise he won't try anything!" Rose added quickly due to Bella's indescribable expression.

"Yeah, if he does we'll fry up his ball and make him eat 'Edward fries'!" Alice declared, entirely serious, "What? You know like 'lamb fries'? They're lamb balls really," Alice added at the wide eyed shocked faces of Rose and Bella.

"Ew," Bella exhaled.

Then they all fell into fits of laughter yet again until Rose and Alice had to leave.

Bella finally unpacked her duffel bag in an attempt to busy herself before she had to go downstairs and face Edward, she needed a favour, and she didn't want to face the questions Rose and Alice would surely force onto her if she asked the favour of them.

Finally at about 9:30 Bella decided to 'woman up' and face the More.

_Okay _way _to early to joke about these things._

"Hey," Bella said lamely when she ran into him on the stairs, quite literally, as they were both too consumed in their thoughts. Her fear of him that had developed earlier with the conversation that morning was quickly put to the side with one glance at him.

"Hey, what are you doing today?" He asked sweetly, he simply could NOT be a More!

_But he does kind of look like one:_

_The sex hair... Hmmm_

_The cocky smirks on his gorgeous lips_

_The wrinkled clothes adourning what was surely a wonderful body_

"I actually need a-a favour," she felt so small next to him, she was a step above him and she still had to look up to meet his gaze.

"Shoot."

"Could you drive me to the store?"

"Sure," turning on the stairs to walk towards the garage, no time better than the present right? "What for?" he asked conversationally as she tagged a long beside him. He began to lead her to the far end of the garage, to a shiny silver volvo.

_Who the hell needs more than one car? Well he's certainly a More for cars._

"Shampoo and soap."

"Shampoo and soap?" Bella couldn't understand the confused look on his face, for all he knew she never even had any in her bathroom, "Em and I bought you two big bottles, they're up in your bathroom."

_Shit, nevermind about him not knowing anything._

"Umm, yeah. I know," She said, attempting to close the discussion.

"Okay, haha, so no need to go to the store, right?" he almost looked disappointed and Bella couldn't understand why, but she didn't have the concentration to focus in on his awkward, but somehow still sexy, chuckling.

"Well, actually," Word Vomit. She had been getting it recently when the possibility of _questions _arose, "I kind of...well, I-I, I don't...I used it all already!" She finally blurted out.

"Oh, okay," Edward said chuckling as he opened her door for her.

_Maybe that's normal in Hawaii?_

_Who the hell uses _that _much shampoo and soap in one day?!_

"So..." the silence was overwhelming, far from the peacefullness on the way to the party last night. He couldn't stand it.

"Those bottles were like the size of _you_," he said jokingly, though he immediatly regretted it when he noticed her visibly stiffen.

"Yeah, I-umm, feel _dirty _sometimes," he barely even heard it. But he did.

"Why?" His voice was low, but dripping with a need to help Bella.

"I don't know, umm I'm just..."

"Damaged," he finished for her, fists clenching around the steering wheel.

"H-how did you k-know?" But then he saw understanding fill her eyes, "Last night...shit, I totally forgot..." She mumbled, her eyes glued to the side of his face.

"Who hurt you Bella?" He kept his eyes on the road.

_Breath..._

_Answer me!_

"Bella...I just want to help, I swear," his voice was now demanding almost, yet it still remained low and quiet, hopeful.

"Why should I tell you?" It wasn't rude, just curious.

"Because I want to help you."

"Yeah? Well so did a lot of people," now she was mad, her voice was steadily growing in volume, "a lot if people I'd known for more than a day...like my mom! I haven't even told her! Why the hell would I tell you?! Is this some new way of getting into a girl's pants?" he flinched at the accusation, "Getting a girl to admit to being-to being..."

_What Bella? Who hurt you? Let me in! Please!_

"...Messed up and then you fuck her?... Well, _Edward_, you will never get into my pants! I don't want _anyone _in my pants!"

"I'm not trying to get into your pants Bella!" He was trying to help her _and _do what she wanted, but it was so hard, so opposite. All he wanted to do was reach across the car and pull her sobbing form into his lap.

"Isn't that what you do?! You-you MORE!"

_Alice!_

_Why Alice?!_

He finally gave in, pulling over into the shoulder and picking Bella up and placing her in his lap, letting her sob into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, setting his chin on her head.

"Shh..it's okay Bella," he said soothingly, "you'll be okay."

"How?" Bella asked weakly, "All men are the same..."

_I'll kill him._

"No, Bella... Not all men are the same," he said attempting to prove his point by pulling her closer into his chest.

"You mean not all men are like you?" Bella accused into his tear stained shirt.

"People can change," even Edward could hear the pain in his voice, how could she even think that of him?

_Umm, oh I don't know. Maybe because that's what you are?_

"Never for the better."

"There's a first time for everything."

"I'm never that lucky," she said laughing mirthlessly.

"No such thing as luck."

"Then what is it? Karna? Did I really deserve it? Am I bad?" Edward refrained from asking what it was. But he could do nothing to stop the growl that burst through his chest.

_How could she even think she's a bad person!_

_She's fucking perfect!_

"No," he whispered into her hair, trying to reign in his temper.

"You don't know me."

_Let me._

But with that she withdrew from his embrace and he selfishly missed her warmth. He pulled onto the road and drove her to the store. The rest of the trip passed uneventfully, except for the fact that she wouldn't even let him go into the store with her.

_She hates you now you prick! Why couldn't you keep your damn hands to yourself?!_

_I was trying to help!_

_Well look how well _that _turned out!_

Bella couldn't deny the emptiness within her as she walked into the house.

_It was better with Edward._

_Edward is just using you!_

_But what if he's not? Should I really just pass him up?_

_..._

"Hey Bells," Emmett said, interupting her internal debate.

"I though you guys wouldn't be back for a while?"

"Yup, we're skipping," Jasper answered coolly, he and Rose were definitly related.

"Alice told us to give you this," Emmett said handing her the big pink Victoria's Secret bag.

"Hey Edward."

Bella turned around to see Edward behind her, keeping his distance, and something inside her really wished he wouldn't.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?"

"Well Em here was just proffesing his love for Bella and her hot bod by giving her a few hundred dollars worth of lingerie," Jasper said taking a drag of the joint Bells had just noticed.

Bella, blushing, backed into Edwards chest, only half unintentionally. A part of her craved the protection, but the other part of her... well, didn't want to get hurt.

"Jasper..." Edward almost growled, automatically wrapping a toned arm around Bella's waist.

"Woah boy! What did I tell you about the goalie last night?" Emmett asked.

Edward immediatly removed his arm from Bella and stepped out from behind her.

Bella, confused, used the distraction from herself to escape to her room but not before hearing Edward snarling something about _being _the goalie and Jasper was the one that wasn't being the goalie.

_Whatever that means..._

Once Bella had finished putting up her new... _attire_, she didn't know what to do with herself. She had promised herself that she would no longer just sit alone in her room and _be_. She was actually going to live a little.

Bella was quickly pulled from her debate on whether to take up yoga or sneek out to the beach with a knock on the door.

**Well who's come aknockin??**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey sorry I haven't updated in forever.... my dog ran across my lap when I was writing a paper and like half the keys fell off!!!! Sooo me being me toook foreeeeverrrr to get it fixed, don't blame me, blame my procrastination. Well enough excuses......**

**Here ya go...**

_Bella was quickly pulled from her debate on whether to take up yoga or sneek out to the beach with a knock on the door._

"Bella?" Jasper drawled from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, come in," Bella said, jumping off her bed.

"Hey," he said with an easy grin on his face.

"Uh hey, what's up?" Bella prompted.

"Oh yeah," he said, seeming to have just remember her presence.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Did you need to tell me something Jasper?" Bella couldn't decide whether to laugh or be angry.

"Nope," he said turning to leave.

"Then why'd you come in my room?" She called after him.

"Oh!... Well certainly not to _tell _you something, to _ask _you something," Jasper said turning around chuckling as if this fact should just be _so _obvious to Bella.

"And what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"Well Emmett actually told me to ask you."

_And?_

"..."

"Jasper," Bella huffed, "What are you trying to say?"

"Ask." He clarified.

"Whatever."

"Well my dear little almost adopted stepsister, Emmett and I couldn't help but notice your recent stress levels.

"Recent? Everything you've noticed about would have to be recent."

"Touché," Jasper said narrowing his eyes accusingly, as if he wasn't quite sure how she came into such personal information.

"My stress?" Bella prompted.

"Is high."

"And?"

"Thats just it."

"Jasper please just tell me."

"Were going to get you high."

"That's not a question."

"How high would you like to get?" he made it sound like some sort of bussiness proposal.

"Do I even have an option?"

"Yes, would you like to get baked like a hot pocket? Or like a thanksgiving turkey?"

".... Hot pocket?" Bella answered seeing no out.

Then Jasper remained standing in her doorway awkwardly, awkwardly for Bella at least, Jasper didn't even seem to notice. Then suddenly he turned around, well as sudden as Jasper could get, and Bella took that as her cue to follow.

He lead her down to a basement that Bella had yet to notice. Though they got sidetracked at some 'fascinating' dust bunnies and drapes. Finally he was leading her down a spiral staircase.

"Milady," he drawled pulling out a chair for her between him and Edward.

"Wow, this is very... "That 70's Show"," Bella observed settling in, "With better furnishings of course."

"Good show," Jasper said flopping down in his own chair.

"Now _this _is some good home grown shit," Emmett said once Bella and Jasper were seated.

"You guys grow?" Bella asked skeptically. She followed the others eyes, which were shifting to Jasper, who, of course, didn't notice.

"He's eternally baked," Edward only half joked.

"What?" Jasper asked upon noticing the stares, "Oh. Grew." He clarrified, obviously that needed no further explaination, of course not. He then went back to examining Edward's hair.

Emmett, shaking his head at his friend, turned his attention to Bella, "Ever smoked?"

She shook her head shyly, "Umm, no my last, well only, boyfriend was very religious and wouldn't really let me, something about not wanting to miss me while he was in heaven and I was burning in hell."

"Fucking prick," Edward scoffed.

"This is some good shit to lose your virginity to," Jasper stated, coming out of his haze.

Bella looked down, to hide her obvious blush, and bit her lip, a nervous habit.

"Jasper," Edward hissed.

"Hey it's not like popping her smoking cherry's going to be painful, not that I remember my first, kind of like how you don't remeber-"

"Jasper!" Edward and Emmett both barked, though Emmett was trying not to laugh.

"Let the orgy begin," Jasper said after several moments of what appeared to be possible self refection.

"Jasper..." Edward groaned.

The next few hours went by in a blissful blur. A blur which Bella was most thankful for. Everything was so much brighter, more funny, happier, more beautiful-

_Edward... Mmmm, Edward..._

-sharper, calmer, so much...more.

The next thing Bella knew she was being dragged off by Alice while Rose admonished the boys for including Bella in their "bull shitting" without them around.

_Ah Rose_

"What the fuck! Just don't even say anything! Just ugh!... Go get ready for the beach... Now!" Rose roared, standing at the bottom of the spiral stair case, hands on hips.

"Wait, not you," Rose 'requested' of Edward.

"What's up Rose?" Edward asked curiously, quickly coming down from his high due to all the yelling...and lack of Bella.

"I need to talk to you about...Bella."

_Oh no. Not again._

"Don't worry, don't waste your time, I know I'm a "More" and should stay away from her because I need to be a "Goalie" and I need to refrain from being a "Player" with at least one single girl," Edward 'explained.'

"What the hell Cullen? Do _you _even know what you're talking about?"

"Nope," Edward answered, mistakingly taking that as his cue to leave. Rose pushed him back in front of her.

"Cullen, you can fuck around and screw up all the girls you want but please, I beg of you, refrain from screwing up your _sister_, at least until you really are ready to commit."

_I'm not going to try anything with Alice._

_Ew._

Okay, he was still pretty baked.

"What I'm saying is the girls your with always get hurt, you never back up the physical with anything emotional-

_Emotional? Bella was emotional today. Is she talking about Bella. _

_I'm all ears._

_-_even if it was just a one time thing...you seemed so distant."

_Damn it this is not talking about Bella._

_Ugh! Not this again!_

"Maybe because I was fucking my brother's girlfriend!" Edward was sobering up a bit faster now.

"But you didn't even protest! That's pretty fucked!"

"I know I'm fucked up!...Damn it, I know! But your the one that thought it would be such a brilliant plan! Have you even told him yet?"

"No," Rose replied weakly.

"Why? Finally find out he didn't do _shit_ with Stanely? Or scared he'll dump your ass the moment he finds what a fuck up _you _are!"

"Edward..." Her voice was shakey and pleading.

"We're all fucked up! Even precious little Bella! Why the hell am I not good enough for her? At least I know enough to admit that I'm fucked up! I can change! I'm not that bad of a guy! I know I would hurt her, if I treated her like all those whores, but I would _never _fucking do that! I'm not stupid... I wouldn't hurt her," Edward ended, he was trying to sort through all the thoughts running through his head.

"And she's not stupid either asshole! She knows enough to stay away from you!" Rose rebutted, obviously hurt.

"But I can change."

_God you sound like a fucking pussy._

"No one can change _that _much!"

He couldn't deal with it any more. It was just too much, all he wanted was Bella, was the so hard to understand? Why couldn't he just get what he wanted?

_Because life's not fair and Bella is not some Christmas present._

He slammed the door to his room as Emmett walked by, alerting him that he had fifteen minutes to get ready for the beach.

_I _can _have her._

Twenty minutes later everyone and everything was being packed into Emmett's Hummer, much to the horror of Alice who refused to be late to _anything _unless of course it was to make a statement as in 'fashionably late.'

Rose and Emmett sat in the front bickering, while Alice and Jasper sat in the back, acting almost too sweet to watch, leaving Edward and Bella in the middle, both keeping to their own sides of the car. Bella wasn't quite sure how she felt about that.

On one hand she wanted to stay right where she was, far from Edward, so he could never hurt her or possibly figure out just how damaged she is and drop her faster than a bungee jumper. But what if he could really love her?

And that lead to the other hand, the half of her that wanted to scoot over into his lap and lay their forever. What if he could really love her? And eventually help her sort through all her problems, and 'fix' her? She couldn't really pass that up could she? But was it worth getting even more damaged?

And now we're back to hand one.

Bella hopped out of the car and looked around at the secluded, yet beautiful strip of beach.

"Why not just use your own beach? It'd be faster."

"Waves suck," Alice replied giddily while Jasper stared at her like he had never met her before.

"You understand me," he drawled.

_Pathetic._

_Yet endearing._

"They're just like love struck puppies," Edward said coming up behind her with two boards, "Want to learn?"

"This is going to be pathetic."

"Try me."

"I trip over _air_. This won't end well."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he said smirking down at her cockily.

"Its not preventable."

"You wanna start out on my board with me?"

_Mmm... Edward and me, a space limit of about five feet! Mmm_

_RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE_

"Maybe some other time? I think I'm just going to relax a little, after all I have hardly even been here twenty four hours."

"Suit yourself, Alice is going out today, but I'll come back and check on you," Edward said winking at her and turning around to run into the water somehow managing to maintain some semblance of grace while also removing his shirt and dispo-

_Oh god, he's shirtless! His back! Oh god!_

-sing of the extra board.

Bella watched his back muscles work as he ran towards the water. She didn't even want to contemplate how she might react if he was running shirtless _towards _her to "check on her."

She didn't _want _to...doesn't mean she didn't.

Bella settled in with her book in the shade and quickly became absorbed into the plot.

About a hundred pages later Bella noticed some very handsome feet in front of her. She slowly began to let her eyes trail up the body, past his perfectly toned calves, over his low rise black swimsuit, pausing at his narrow hips-

_Hips... Edward's hips_

-then letting her eyes rest on his well defined abs and pecs, he certainly had the body of a swimmer, though he wasn't as tan as one would expect a hawaiian to be, but he still was quite a bit tanner than Bella.

"Bella? You there?" Edward taunted.

"Hmm?" She still kept her eyes glued to his body.

"Bella, could you look up for me?" Edward asked wrly, and she did, but his face was just as distracting as his body, maybe even more so.

"Uhhhh, yeah what's up?" She asked lamely.

"Just wondering if you changed your mind about the surfing?"

"No, thanks though, not quite ready to embarass myself."

"Oh come on little girl," Edward taunted chuckling.

_Little girl..._

_Alley. Men. Pain. Humilation. _

_"Little girl"_

_Shit look what you did now, she can't even talk._

"Bella? Are you okay? We don't have to get in the water if you don't want, it's fine."

_Shit. Shit. Shit. What did I do? Why does she look so scared?!_

"Bella?" His voice was hopeless as he knelt down in front of her, using his thumb to lift her chin.

When he finally looked into her eyes he almost wished he hadn't. They were over flowing with tears, and wider than he had ever seen them. She looked so innocent yet broken.

"What happened to you," his voice was barely more than a pained whisper.

"Nothing," she choked out.

"Bella, this is not nothing, you need help, let me help you, please."

"Please, stop..." yet she had little conviction behind her words.

"Can I hold you?" He had to ask, he didn't want her to get mad at him again like this morning. But there was not a second's hesitation once she nodded her head. He pick her up and cradled her to his chest, he couldn't help but selfishly thinking that she felt so perfect in his arms, just the right size, he didn't want anyone else seeing her like this, he didn't want anyone to think less of her, not for crying, but for letting him hold her.

He sat down in the back of the Hummer with her sobbing into his chest. He didn't attempt to tell her it would be okay, what did he know? He just rubbed soothing circles on her back until she calmed down enough to talk.

"T-they did this t-to me, I n-never used to act like this before it, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, just tell me who hurt you Bella."

"I don't know," she mumbled into his chest.

"Its okay you can tell me I just want to help you."

"No, I mean I really d-don't know," Edward heard the truth in her words and did not push any further.

"What did they do to you?"

"You won't l-like me any m-more."

"I could never think less of you," he said using one of his hands to pull her face up to look at him, he smiled down at her, though it was weak.

"D-do you really want to know?" She hiccuped, even in this oddly intimate situation she managed to blush due to her hiccuping cries.

"I want to help," he answered sincerely.

She removed her head from his grasp and burryed it into the crook of his neck, she couldn't look at him when she told him.

It took her several minutes to calm down enough to start talking, but Edward just held her patiently.

"So me and James had been dating for a really long time. You know 'the fucking prick' well he wasn't just anti pot but anti pretty much anything besides church, so he refused to have sex until we were married, which we both thought we would get married-

_No_

Edward tightened his arms around her, she would never belong to someone else.

-but since like the first month of our relationship I had been begging him to have sex with me, but he'd never listen. Well, about two weeks ago he texted me about some surprise, which was obviously, you know, sex, so I got all dressed up like a-like a... whore, though the reasoning behind that didn't make much since, and I snuck out to go over to his house.

"To get to his house I had to walk down this really typical dark alley-

_I would never make you walk around alone at night._

_I would never hurt you._

-and I ended up tripping because well I'm me," Edward didn't laugh along with her, just held her even tighter to his chest, "and these three drunk guys came up to me and started talking, and this really big, maybe not as tall as you but really just _big_ guy, kept calling me "Little girl"," a sob ripped through her, and Edward began to rock her gently, "A-and they told m-me to be quiet and they'd l-let me keep my-my... v-virginity," she couldn't talk any more, and Edward didn't know if he wanted to hear any more.

It made so much sense, it fit perfectly with all her fears, but why would someone _rape _a girl like Bella. Edward could hardly even raise his voice with her!

"I-it h-hurt so b-bad, Edward," she cried into his neck, her voice was laced in the pain, it physically hurt Edward to listen to her.

"Its okay, I'll never let anyone hurt you again, never," he couldn't tell who he was trying to convince.

And that was the moment Edward decided that, no matter what anyone else said, no matter how "wrong" he was for her, he would stop at nothing to protect her. It was _his_ job now. That fucking prick of a boyfriend didn't do much good before.

**Hoped you liked the ninth chapters already written so review review review....I really want to post it so lets get 15 more reviews and then it'll be up before you know it! Also if anyone has some REALLY good story for me to read, tell me bout it and I'll count your review for too:).... now go. review damnit!**

**much .**


	9. Chapter 9

The sun was beggining to set and Edward was still holding a trembling Bella. Everyone else was begining to come in from the water and Edward began to panick. He didn't know what to tell them, certainly Bella didn't want them to _know_, but how could he possibly explain holding Bella in the backseat of Emmett's car while she teeter between reality and nightmares? And there was no chance in hell he was letting her go now, not once he finally got ahold of her, not once she finally let him help her.

_Finally? Dude it's been like a day_

_Or eighteen years... Depends how you look at it asshole._

So that is how he found himself surrounded (well as surrounded as one could be in the backseat of a hummer, they were mostly huddled around the open trunk) by three sets of murderous glares (Jasper didn't appear to be too upset with him).

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Rosalie hissed, attempting not to wake Bella.

"She got upset and I-I was just helping her out guys."

"And helping her out required full body contact?" Alice spat.

"What the fuck did you do to her you little prick?!" Rose snarled, obviously having given up the idea of not waking Bella.

Before Edward could defend himself Bella stirred against his chest. She looked up at Edward who held her gaze for the briefest of seconds before letting his eyes flicker back up to his family then back down to her, indicating she might want to look up.

She turned arounded in his lap and Edward had to surpress a groan, it was best for all involved parties.

"Oh-umm, hey?"

"Bella are you okay?"

She glanced back at Edward as if to ask, "did you tell them?" and when Edward shook his head, maintaining eye contact, she visibly relaxed.

"Yeah, never been better," when her answer did not seem to satisfy the masses she added, "well I think jetlag may be catching up to me, umm do you think I could go home to sleep?" She added in a yawn for effect.

"Bella, it's just after dinner time where your from," Alice observed, much to the distaste of Edward and Bella.

_Damn it Alice does she doesn't have to tell you everything!_

"Oh, yeah well, you know... I'm just all screwed up right now..."

"Its okay Bells, I'll drive you home," Jasper said, finally coming out of his pot induced haze.

"Dude it's not even your car," Emmett countered.

"If she wants to sleep she should get to sleep... Keys are still in the ignition any ways," Jasper stated simply, but his statement was only met by shocked faces, "What?"

"When did you find the time to notice the keys were still in the ignition between getting baked, being baked, and oogling Alice?" Rose question.

"Hey lil sis, don't knock it 'til you've tried it... And I have my moments, few and far between, but they're there," Jasper retaliated smoothly.

"Uhh well Jasper could you take us home?" Edward asked, almost shyly.

"'Us'?! There is no fucking 'us' in this! Why the hell do you have to go?!" Rose boomed.

_Really not in the best of moods today now are we Rosie?_

"Sure thing dude," Jasper said running around to the drivers seat.

"Uhh actually Rose I'd like it better if Edward came back with me," Bella mumbled quietly, trying to appease her friends so they could get out of the way before Jasper inadvertently ran over them.

"Goalie Edward, Goalie," Emmett warned before shutting the trunk between them and one very upset Rose, and one very concerned Alice.

As soon as they turned a bend and Edward could no longer see them Edward felt Bella nuzzle unto the side of his neck and begin to drift off again.

"Thanks."

"For what?" But she was already asleep, her warm breath fanning our accross his neck and chest.

_I could get used to this._

They got to the house in record time, and Edward smoothly slid out of the car, Bella in his arms, and walked into the house. He walked up to her room and laid her on her unmade bed, pulling the covers over her shaking form, she was still having nightmares.

Edward went and sat down in a chair near her bed, he didn't want to leave her just yet.

"Stop," Bella mumbled, thrashing about under the blankets.

"Shhh... It's okay Bella I'm here," Edward said walking over to brush her hair off of her face.

She instantly calmed down under his touch, so he moved the chair closer so he could keep his hand on her face.

"S-stop... Please, no more," she mumbled out, once again in a nightmare.

It was tearing Edward apart listening to her, if he ever figured out who did this to her... Well let's just say he wouldn't know them very long.

He didn't want her to think about them or what they did to her. Part of him was even jealous that they had been with her... That _they _had been her first sexual experience.

_You're disgusting._

So he did the only thing he could think of to get her to stop thinking about them. He woke her up.

Her eyelids began to flutter open and confusion filled her beautiful brown eyes upon seeing Edward. He just smiled down at her, waiting for her to remember. Then, after several moments horror took over the confusion in her brown pools, and the confusion moved onto Edward's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to tell you, it's just you were there and- and, oh god! This isn't good, please don't tell anyone! Please!" Bella began rambling.

"Why are you sorry? And of course I'm not going to tell anyone. And no it's not good, none of it's good, but it's better that you told someone... Isn't it?" Edward had no idea how to relate to her right now, but he was trying his best.

"B-but like the police or my parents.... not _you_!" The words struck deep.

_Why the hell not me?_

"Why not?" Edward said trying to maintain his temper.

"Because...because of how you are! You're not exactly the type of person that could empathize with my situation, you'd be more likely to empathize with _them,_" she answered angrily.

_THEM!!! What the _fuck_ Bella? I am NOT one of THEM!_

_You've fucked everything with legs since you were fourteen._

_But not _RAPED_ them!_

"Bella calm down," he was using more effort to maintain control of his voice than he'd ever used in a race, "I know I can't empathize. Hell I can hardly _sympathize_, but Bella, I want to help you, I swear I won't tell a soul, I just want to help," she began to relax as he spoke, falling back down onto the pillows. He could see her trying to hold off another round tears, yet they were inevitable.

"E-Edward... Can you h-hold me again?"

But Edward didn't say a thing, simply laid down next to her in the bed and pulled her into his chest.

She felt so good against him, she was so much smaller than him he felt like he could completely sheild her from the world. Yet he couldn't, but he wished he could.

Bella laid on the cusp of conciousness for quite some time. Yet she refused to come to, for the first time in months everything felt right. She was beyond comfortable, yet she knew if she let her mind awaken to the new day she would find and remember things she never wished to be aware of. For now though, everything was perfect, balanced...right.

"Bella, I think you might want to get up now," a velvety voice purred into her ear.

_Ahh dreams..._

"Bella, get up," now the voice sounded a bit strained, and her damned blanket was shaking her!

_Oh. Not a dream. Oops._

_Then who the hell is-_

"Ahhh!" Bella screeched as she tore herself away from Edward's body and off the bed, taking half the sheets with her, and to her horror exposing Edwards bare chest. She saw the confusion and sorrow in his eyes and then...betrayal?

Then she finally noticed Alice and Rose standing menacingly in the doorway, obviously the reason for the strain in Edwards voice earlier.

"What-" Bella started, but was not allowed to finish.

"Yeah Edward! She 'wanted' you here...in bed with her! She 'asked' you too!" Rose sneered, making the "air quotes" with her fingers actually appear quite frightening.

"Damnit Edward! You took advantage of her! Your own fucking _sister_!" Alice screeched.

"Shes not really my sister..." Edward mumbled, hanging his head.

"That's the only thing you have to say? So you _did _take advantage of her?" Rose hissed.

"No-"

"No, guys really he didn't... I did ask him to," Bella clarrified, only to be met by the questioning glares of both Rose and Alice, but thankfully Edward seemed to appreciate her efforts.

"Ummm... Would you guys mind? I'd kind of like to talk to Edward."

"Uhh yeah. Sure. Just holler if you need us," Alice said pulling a disgruntled Rose along behind her out the door.

For a few minutes the only sound was the ringing echo of the recently slammed door. Thoughts were being collected.

"Edward-"

"Bella-"

"No you first."

"Edward... It's just....Well, umm... I don't really know how to say this but- it's just-well... you are the type of person you are, and that's fine... But not for me right now," she watched as his gentle smile slowly fell, "Its just- I know you didn't take advantage of me really... But I wasn't thinking straight... I just don't know if I can handle _you _right now. You seem like a decent guy, but still, you're a...More," Bella's attempt at humor was lost on Edward.

"Yeah, I guess I am," Bella could tell he was obviously not used to being turned down... in anyway.

"I'm sorry Edward... It's just- nevermind. What were you going to say?"

Edward ran his hands through his hair a few time as he sat on the edge of the bed, "Just do what you want to do, don't worry about what other people say," he finally looked up at her from under his eyelashes and began chuckling darkly, "but obviously there's no use for that any more."

His words cut deep. He stood up and walked over to in front of her, brushing the back of his hand against her warm cheeks. His eyes roamed her face for a few moments until he finally broke the silence.

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge," with his words his eyes finally met hers, and she couldn't help but see the pain clearly echted in the deep green pools.

"Its just that I can't trust myself around you."

"I know," he said, letting his hand fall and smiling down at her sadly, "I know," he repeated before he finally walked out of the room.

And Bella cried... It had all happened so fast... She'd only been here a day for Christ's sake! No, she did not break down, she cried more for a form of stress relief.

Standing in the same spot as he had left her she simply let her frustrations overwhelm her until finally all she could do was wait until her tears dried.

And this is how Alice found her. Still standing, arms wrapped around herself, crying in the corner of her room.

"Edward?"

"Not really," Bella choked out, and it wasn't really a lye.

"Do you... _like _him?" And it sounded so cheesy that Bella couldn't help but laugh, but the pathetic sound _that _created made her cry even harder.

"I don't want to," Bella mumbled a few minutes later. And she looked up, well more like less down, to see a blurry pixie that was obviously very confused, "what?"

"There is no 'middle ground' for love!" Bella couldn't help but scoff.

"I don't 'love' him!"

"So what? It's like a hormones thing? Your body is _forcing _you to like Edward?" Alice asked skeptically.

"Maybe..."

Bella had only become more and more confused since waking up, but she knew one thing for.

_Stay the hell away from Edward Cullen._

**It seems a bit like a filler I know, I just really had to get the 'Edward stay away from me' thing out there.... the next one will be longer. Review review review and tell me so good ole stories to read on this fabulous site. Think of it as a christmas present:)**


	10. Chapter 10

So she did just that.

She stayed the he'll away from Edward Cullen.

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The first week was rough. It took some time adjusting to Edward's schedule, figuring out who to ride with so she could avoid him, where to sit in class since they were in almost all the same classes, what to do at lunch, and especially weekends. The roughest part was lunch on her first day of school, the only people she really knew were her 'family' but she couldn't sit with Edward, she couldn't handle it if she changed her mind about him again, and she knew she would if she was around him. Rose offered to sit with her but she didn't want to break up all the close bonds that her 'family' had, it just wasn't her place.

A girl from her english class had seen the awkward conversation taking place between Bella and Rose and invited Bella to sit at her table. She was kind, with hair similar to Bella's, but she was much taller, and had glasses, which only served to make her look sweeter.

She introduced herself as Angela and lead her over to a table where Bella was introduced to Jessica and Lauren, "want to be Rose"s, Tyler, Lauren's boyfriend, Eric, a bit odd, but in a fun corky way, Ben, Angela's boyfriend, and Mike, who seemed sweet at first, but maybe a bit.... adoring??

All in all after the first few unfortunate minutes lunch was fine. Mike kept making moves on Bella, and kept his arm around her chair through the whole period. Bella tried turning away from him, looking down and blushing in the proccess, not a good idea. The move caused her to notice Jessica's hand massaging it's way up Lauren's leg.

It wasn't that Bella was a homophob, but wasn't Tyler introduced as Lauren's boyfriend?

But conversation at the table went on, even the continuous attempts at flirting from Jessica to Mike, and Tyler and Lauren preceded to hold hands through most of the lunch period. When the bell rang Bella go up as fast as possible without seeming rude and headed off to her next class.

_So lunch won't be my favorite period, better than sitting with the wanna be rapist on the other end of the cafeteria._

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_God that fucking prick, put you're arm around Bella one more time I'll rip your fucking dick off and choke you with it._

"Hey Newton!" Mike turned around nervously, last time he talked to Edward was freshmen year when he told him he had fucked his sister.

"Uhhh, hey Edward....?"

"Saw you talking to Bella." Edward kept his eyes trained ahead of him on the walk back from the cafeteria.

"Yeah that's some hot piece of ass... Not that I mind sharing you know, maybe we could get together... wonder if she's into that kinky shit-"

Suddenly Mike was rammed up against the lockers, Edward's forearm digging into his throat.

"I. Don't. Share." Edward growled, his jaw was clenched so hard that he was surprised he even got the words out.

"Since when, you sure as hell shared my sister," Mike wheezed out, smart ass was not a good idea right now.

"Well your fucking whore of a sister is NOT Bella now is she? Fucking touch her again and you'll wish I was still fucking your sister."

With that Edward let go of Mike and let him collapse on the ground without even looking back at him as he walked off to his next class.

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Friday was probably the worst day of Bella's first week...

"So what are you doing tonight Bella?"

Laurent was leaning against her locking, blocking her books from her, and therefore making her late, he was in her French class and seemed like a decent enough guy until now.

"Probably just resting, it's only my first week here, I'm pretty exhausted," Bella said attempting to move him away from her locker via her eyes.

_Damn that never works._

"You should come out with me, I'm going over to Mike's house for a little, umm... get together, I'll pick you up at nine."

_Okay so obviously there was no need for me to respond right. Well at least he's gone._

And with that she dashed off to her last period of the day.

* * *

It was eight-thirty, and though Bella didn't particularly like the idea of going out she decided it was best, she just wouldn't drink this time. She needed to readjust to life. The rest of the gang had left about an hour ago leaving Bella behind because she was "resting." She didn't even think to ask where they were going, but they didn't quite run in the same circle as Mike so hopefully not the same place Bella was headed with Laurent in thirty minutes.

So she got dressed in a silver loose top, tight black skinny jeans, and flats, it was fairly conservative and for that she was glad. She didn't bother with her hair, she new it was a mess, but she did manage to put a little mascara on. She got downstairs just in time to see a black Tahoe pull up in front of the house. She locked up then they were off. She couldn't help but notice Laurent's wrinkly clothes and wonder who he'd been hanging out with after school.

The car ride wasn't awful, but it wasn't the best either, it was spent mostly listening to loud rap and awkward one sided conversations.

When they arrived Bella was immediately pulled inside by Angela who was showing her the necklace Ben had gotten her for their anniversary.

"Wow, that's so pretty Angie, how long have you guys been going out for?" Bella inquired.

"Six years," Angela said beaming. Bella's draw must have hit the floor.

"What?? You're only eighteen! I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was seventeen!....lucky bitch..." Bella mumbled the last part, though she was pretty sure Angela heard. If she did she only laughed it off and pulled Bella further into the party.

It was fun, much less up beat than the one on her first day on the island. People were mostly just sitting around smoking or drinking, and telling funny stories or making stupid bets.

Bella had managed to avoid Mike for the first hour, but at 10:15 he found her. And that's when her world fell apart.

She was attempting to avert her eyes from something nasty Mike was showing her when she was meet with the piercing green eyes she was all too familiar with. He was leaning up against a wall with some bottle blonde pressed against him sucking his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waste and stared off into Bella's eyes with a lazy smile on his face. Then his smile turned malicious as he took one of his hands and angled the blond's head up and start to bit to bottom lip, all the while keeping his eyes on Bella.

She couldn't take it any more, she was on the verge of tears and it was all just too much, and too confusing. As Bella ran past him he pushed the bimbo off him and followed her slowly out to the backyard, which had surprisingly few people.

"Like the show?" She whipped around surprised by his sudden appearance. He felt his heart break a little at the sight of her tear streaked cheeks, but not as much as his heart had broken early that night?

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"Did you see Bella and Laurent walking in?" Lauren was asking Jessica as Edward walked into the party, he must have been one of the last ones to arrive, but fuck it if anybody cares.

"Yes! Oh my god! What a whore!"

_Don't you dare call her a whore._

"Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen more "just fucked hair" than that!"

"Or all the messy clothes!"

"Oh! And did I tell you?" Lauren asked, pausing for dramatic effect, "I was late getting out of school today, and I passed Laurent's car in the parking lot, the windows were all steamed up and I would swear I heard moaning!"

Edward didn't need to hear any more he was seeing red, he couldn't help but plot his revenge against Laurent, but the weed he'd smoked earlier with Jasper was making that a bit harder than it should've been. It wasn't until he saw the big boobed bottle blonde walking past him that he decided it wasn't Laurent he should be going after, he hadn't trusted him in the first place, and definitly wouldn't be now, but that wasn't the point."

"Let's go have some fun," he whispered into Blondie's ear, pulling her along until he found a good view of Bella, then he pulled Blondie against him and thus began the first kiss he'd had in over a week, that was a _long_ time for him. He'd forgotten how good it felt, especially when he imagined it was Bella's tiny body he was pulling against him. He finally caught Bella's eyes and smiled to her, hoping she got the message that if she could play then so could he.

It wasn't until she ran off that he decided to push Blondie off of him and follow Bella.

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"Edward..." It was somewhere between a sob, moan, and whine, but what ever it was it made Edward's cock twitch in his jeans.

"Yes dearie?" He couldn't help but be proud of the new levels of condescending his voice achieved.

"How could you?!" Her screeching sob still sounded sexy.

_Damn this weed!_

Edward let out a scoff, "How could _I_? How could _you_?"

"How could I what? I didn't do anything!"

"No....true you did do anything. But you did _do _Laurent," Edward spat at her.

"W-what??"

_Ohhhh tiger kitty's come out to play, she's even sexy when she's mad._

"How was it by the way? Was he sweet and slow or hard and fast? Is it the whole black thing? Nothing can get you off but a big black cock stuffed up you're pussy," Edward knew he should stop, he knew he was hurting her, and he knew he would regret it the second he was sober, but he just couldn't he was too much of a caveman, seeking revenge on all the wrong people for not wanting to share what was _his_.

"Edward I don't know what you're talking about...p-please just stop, I-I don't do that," she was full out sobbing, wrapping her arms around herself as she stood awkwardly in front of him. He wanted to step forward and comfort her, but he couldn't, she didn't want _him _to comfort her she wanted _Laurent_.

"I'm talking about the cock you were bouncing around on after school!" He knew he was scaring her, he could see it in her eyes.

"I was at home after school! Y-you y-you saw me! I'm not a slut, p-please believe me..."

_Good going dumbass, remember watching her walking up the stairs in those tight pants when she walked in with Rose and Alice?_

_Yeah.... Damnit. I'm never smoking again._

"God, Bella I'm so sorry, I-I don't know what to say! I'm high... That's no excuse though, it's just the idea of you with somebody else, it's to much, you've got to understand.... forgive me?"

As soon as he looked up from his feet he knew he was forgiven, and it almost disappointed him, she shouldn't be so forgiving it was gonna hurt her one day.

_I think it already did_.

"Can you take me home?" Bella asked shyly.


	11. Chapter 11

**I've got a song for this one- Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz**

Edward got Bella home and into her bed in about a third the time it should have taken. She had managed to fall asleep in his car and he had had to carry her up to her bed, not that he minded. Once at her bed he pulled off her shoes but left the rest of her clothes on as he tucked her into the bed.

He stood and stared at her while looming in the doorway for a good five minutes before deciding she needed some water. He ran down to the kitchen, and not only got her a glass, but a whole pitcher as well. He was bringing it up to her room when the full extent of what he'd done, what he'd said, what he'd thought, hit him.

And he reacted. Because it was all he could do. Because it is all anyone can do.

He hurled the pitcher against the wall across from him and then preceded to punch the wall next to him.

_You fucking asshole, you accused her of being a whore!_

_You considered her touching a man! After all she's been through! Even if she did it's none of your god damn business._

_Like hell it isn't, she's _mine_!_

_Quit with the fucking cockiness, she can't play around but you can go and swap spit with any whore you want? Is that the game you want to play?_

_I was fucking high! You can't blame me_

_Like hell I can't, you made her CRY!_

_I know..._

_Obviously you don't_

_I do! _

_Fix it_

_I can't_

_Fix it_

_..._

_Fix it!_

By this point Edward was kneeling on the floor almost on the verge of tears. And he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. But he knew he had a lot of shit to clean up, and not just the water and the hole in the wall.

He quickly gathered the broken glass in his hand, throwing it away (along with a great deal of his blood) into the nearest trash can, he went back down to retrieve more water, still teetering at his breaking point.

_It's for Bella dumbass. It's all for her, get over yourself._

The though of her brought him back to earth just a little bit more and he jogged back up to her room, placing the pitcher and water on her bedside table, and bending down to place a kiss on her forehead, the second his lips touched her face though, her forehead crinkled up and she rolled away from him.

_Fix it!_

He ran out of her room like a bat out of hell and ran over to his room.

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Two hours later he crept back into her room...

This time she didn't cringe away.

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Bella woke up early Saturday morning. She had had nightmares all night of all the awful things Edward had said to her.

_God, why did I forgive him?_

It wasn't until then that she glanced over and say the glass and pitcher. She couldn't help her smile.

_That's why_

She then noticed the piece of classy black and white somehow masculine stationary, with a few stray dots of...

_Is that blood??_

Dear Bella,

Everything happens for a reason,

People change so you can learn to let go

Things go wrong so you can learn to love them when they're right

You believe lies so eventually

you learn to trust no one but yourself

and sometime good things fall apart

So better things can fall together

~Let me fall with you~

Love,

Edward

She was almost in tears, yet again. It was just so..._right_.

She knew her handwriting would never reach the fluid level of Edward's but she would do her best.

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She was sure the rest of the house was asleep as she crept over to Edward's room.

She opened his door to the wonderful surprise of him laying shirtless on top of his bed. His lips were pouty and red, and his hair was a mess, but he looked so relaxed, untroubled. She couldn't bear to wake him. She lay the note down on his bedside table and glance back at him.

It was then that she noticed his hand, laying bloody and broken by his side.

She didn't know what suddenly possessed her but the next thing she knew she was pushing the bronze locks back from his forehead and clasping his hand lightly. His green eyes opened in flash and their eyes locked for the most meaningful half moment to ever exist. And then she ran, like the coward she was.

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"Wait!" But she was already out the door. He was about to step out of bed and chase her but then he noticed the note next to his phone. He was smiling as he opened it.

Edward,

If I hadn't known you, I wouldn't like you.

If I wouldn't like you, I wouldn't miss you.

But I did, I do and I will.

~I need to fall alone~

Always,

Bella

Edward sprinted to her room faster than he thought possible, he practically knocked her door down when he realized it was locked. He kicked and punched it demanding she open up and talk to him until his hand was numb.

He sprinted back to his room searching for the damn stationary Esme had given him a few Christmas's ago.

Dear Bella,

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone

~Don't make me cry over you again~

Love,

Edward

He slipped it under her door and sat and waited. He leaned against her door for what seemed like hours until he heard a choked sob coming from the other side.

"Bella? Bella?!... Are you okay?"

"You cried," he could hear her on the other side of the door, so close, just out of reach.

"Yes."

He watched as a piece of notebook paper was slipped under the door.

Dear Edward,

We must _accept_ finite disappointment,

but we must never lose infinite hope

~It's in our best interest~

Bella

"Is it what you want?" He choked out.

"I don't know..."

And that's all the hope he needed.

"Edward go away....Go back to sleep," She whispered through the door when she heard him sitting down against her door, she could almost feel the heat of his back against her back through the door.

"I'm not done yet Bella."

Dearest Bella,

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed

~I will always have hope~

Love,

Edward

"Do you mean this?..."

"Every single word," and they both knew exactly which word they were talking about.

Dear Edward,

Me, I'm scared of everything,

I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did,

but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life,

the way I feel when I'm with you

~at some point it will be inevitable~

Sincerely,

Bella

"I would never leave you," he was crying again, he knew she could tell, he was just pretending she couldn't.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Dearest Bella,

It's funny how someone can break you heart

but you go on loving them with all the little pieces

~if you're going to make me cry at least come out here to wipe my tears away~

Love,

Edward

"Edward," Bella choked out, she was crying too now, "You can't love me."

"I beg to differ," Edward laughed out mirthlessly.

Dear Edward,

No one can promise they'll never hurt you,

because at one time or another they will.

The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

~Nothing is worth all my pain, I'm sorry I'm already broken~

Truly,

Bella

"I love you, Bella, I love you damnit. Whole or broken, shattered into a million pieces I don't give a damn.... Bella please.... Give me a chance."

But then Edward remembered he'd already had a chance. One too many.

"I don't have it in me."

Dearest Bella,

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?

~Please, all I need is one more shot, I swear I will never do wrong by you again

Don't make fools out of us~

Love,

Edward

"You're going to make mistakes, everyone does."

"Please Bella..." Edward had never been one for begging, but Bella was changing him.

Edward,

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us

~You don't have time to wait for me,

go on with you life Edward, it will be better without having to deal with me~

Bella

"Don't you understand anything I'm telling you? I could never go back to living like I was before you Bella, I could never let you go, my life would be simply nothing without you, I'd rather live a life with you hating me than without you at all."

"I could never hate you..."

Dearest Bella,

It isn't what I feel for _you_,

It is what I don't feel for _anyone _else

If someone where to ask me what I see in you

I'd respond, "_Everything"_

~Don't make me go back into the black hole that was my life before you~

Love,

Edward

"Edward, d-don't be silly," her laugh sounded pathetic as it was interrupted by a hiccuping sob.

"Bella, I know your life's been rough- rough doesn't even begin to cover it- and I know you want to handle yourself-handle everything- on your own, but you're _my _everything, and I want to, no _need_ to, help you, I feel so useless out here Bella, I want to share your pain with you, I want to take _all _of your pain and put it on me instead, god knows I deserve it a hundred fold more than you. But I can't, because I'm out here, and damnit Bella, you're in there, it is six in the fucking morning and I am out here begging you to let me in, in any way you can. I can handle a lot from you Bella, but you're killing me out here, I need to be able to see you, to know your okay, let me know what I can do. Please Bella... let me in..."

Edward had silent tears pouring down his face, and he almost laughed as he saw a new piece of paper being slowly inched out to him. But before it got to him he stopped her.

"I can hear you crying Bella, don't lie to me and tell me you don't care, you don't cry over people you don't care about."

"Edward... just take it, please," she whispered.

Edward,

Being able to leave someone you love is the truest sign of love

Bella

Edward was sure his cry had woken up Rose and Emmett but he didn't care, he slipped a final note under the door and left to his room to sulk.

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She remained unmoving, leaning against my door, head in my hands, crying until she heard his door slam shut.

Saying goodbye to him, even after just over a week was the hardest thing Bella had ever done.

Finally she reached for his last note, almost wishing it to be cruel so she could give herself a reason to not..._like_ him.

_Just like?_

_Are you sure about that now?_

Cherished love,

I wish I could be your tear drops,

for what more could anyone ask for

then to be conceived in your heart,

born in your eyes,

live on your cheeks,

and die on your lips.

~One day I will have you Isabella, until that day comes

I pray you keep me in your heart, thoughts

and the few tears you _must_ shed~

Undying Love of week I,

Edward, Forever Your's

And so life went for Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen every Saturday morning at six...

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Treasured Love,

If in this lifetime,

I wont get to have you,

I'll make sure that if I meet you in my next life

I wont have to think twice on saying that

"I waited a lifetime to say I love you to your face..."

~avoidance is understandable, but I'm not sure if I can stand it much longer

I need to talk again Bella, I'm so very sorry for last weekend~

Undying Love of week II,

Bella's Edward

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Beloved Bella,

True love is,

when everything in the world is going wrong,

all you have to do is look at that special person and,

suddenly,

everything in the world is right again

~You've made my world right again Bella,

Let me make yours better now~

Undying Love week III,

Edward, dying for you

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Loved one of Mine,

There are as many nights as days,

and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,

and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning

if it were not balanced by sadness

~I know that we wouldn't be perfect

I know that we wouldn't be any where close

_but _we would be together

and to me

that is all that matters~

Undying Love week IV,

Come back to me, Edward

**"Undying Love" cheesy right? Hope you liked it!!! And listen to the song it reallyyyyyy fits in. Please REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.**


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